I belittle myself. I think I can’t do it. I’m not smart enough. I have no common sense. I’m too skinny. I am a failure. At tennis. At school. At drawing, sometimes. At my own body. And I just can’t breathe. Emotionally and physically. I’m intrigued and fascinated by the thought of cutting. It’s just so tempting. But then I stop because I’m scared. And how will I get a sharp enough blade? (All excuses)
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2 comments
It’s okay to not be the best, in fact, acknowledging that you aren’t the best, smartest, whatever, means that you aren’t so cocky that you are unwilling to improve or so confident that you get into something dangerous.
I don’t know if this is making sense, just be you and never stop working towards being a better you.
Regarding the cutting, those“excuses” are your mind trying to avoid the pain, and that’s okay too, don’t beat yourself up because you do or don’t hurt yourself.
I want to improve. I really do. I try so hard. But it always fails. And all these failures make me wonder how I’ll ever make it in life.