emotionally VERY immature parents

it is really hard to love an emotionally blocked parent who expects honor and special treatment but tries to control and dismiss you at the same time. As someone with emotionally immature parents, I do not get my emotional needs met. They have very little interest in experiencing emotional intimacy. They always demand attention but coupled with their wariness about intimacy, there is a very strange push-me, pull-me relationship. It is unsatisfying and causes you to be emotionally lonely. I  care about my parents, but I can’t and won’t ever get close enough to have a real relationship. I am very thankful that I have 2 parents and that they’re both physically in my life. On the other hand though, emotionally I’ve been have felt left on my own. My parents love to tell me what to do, but they are uncomfortable with emotional nurturing. They do take good care of me when I’m sick, but they don’t know what to do with hurt feelings or broken hearts. They literally act artificially and awkwardly. They are very self-absorbed, with limited empathy available.  Interactions with them feel one-sided. It’s as if they’re imprisoned in their own self-involvement. Example: When I try to share something important to me, they’re almost always likely to talk over me, change the subject, start talking about themselves, or dismiss whatever I’m saying. To be honest, I know a great deal more about my parents’ issues than my parents know about mine. They require your attention when they’re upset, they rarely offer listening or empathy when I’m distressed. Instead of sitting with me and letting me get it all out, my parents typically offer superficial solutions. Example: telling me not to worry, or even get irritated with me for being upset. Their heart feels closed like there’s no place I can go inside them for compassion or comfort. They insist I put them first and let them run the show. They coerce me with shame, guilt, or fear until I do what they want. They can flare into blame and anger if I don’t toe the line. They come first, and I am not an option. They are extremely self-referential, meaning that everything is always about them. They elevate their own interests to the point that mine feel downgraded. They’re not looking for an equal relationship. They want blind allegiance to their need to be considered first. Without a parent willing to give my emotional needs a high priority, it leaves me to feel insecure. Always wondering if a parent will think of you or have your back makes you really vulnerable to stress, anxiety, and depression. They won’t ever be emotionally intimate or vulnerable with me. Not saying they’re not reactive emotionally, they are, I would just believe that they just actually avoid their feelings. Even though they hide their feelings, they can show plenty of intense emotion when they fight with each other, complain about their problems, blow off steam, or fly into a fury with me and my siblings.  They don’t respect boundaries or individuality I don’t think they even don’t understand the point of boundaries. They probably think boundaries imply rejection, meaning I don’t care enough about them to give them free access to my life. This is why they act incredulous, offended, or hurt if you ask them to respect your privacy. This was a really long rant, it was quite hard trying to put it into perspective for anyone else about the type of bs I deal with without seeming like a brat who’s upset their mom said no to eating ice cream. anyone else relate?