debris, detritus, surplus meat that no one would eat, orange peel

It hit me yesterday, I’m just the waste product left of what was once a useful person. As in, I don’t identify with who I was before the crash, it was a human being I am not capable of being now.

The one car that I’ve spent the last four years spending almost all my money keeping alive, and already had one transmission replaced, had the transmission go out. For those of you without cars (lucky devils), that means that my care is now a 3000 pound useless hunk of steel. We own three “cars”, as in they used to be cars, back when I could afford the parts.

and that’s just the end of me. I can’t get a job in this economy, because I have no more assets for them to take advantage of while I rack up debt to enjoy the process of making less than I need to live.  I’m not young, I can’t bounce back after a fourth total breakdown, I get that medical science has come a long way, but it can’t put me back together again

lyrics;

Please allow me to introduce myself,
I’m your orange peel,

You don’t remember, but I was once part of your orange
I’m the peel that you left on the floor,

you took the good part and walked out the door,

and I hate you for that

I hate you for that,

I’m your orange peel

Empty me, damn you, I’m trash!