it’s hard to figure out how to start or end with this. i’ve lost my will about a hundred times already, yet i still find new lows to hit. i despise my job and can not find any real relief from working because i have second gig that i go to nearly every day, so I’m always getting home late. i’ve never been able to leave home before and am now stuck living at home to help take care of one family member while having to be around two others that i cannot stand. i can’t enjoy any movies, shows, and video games anymore. i hate looking at social media yet am still addicted to it. i’ve grown apart from all of my old friends years ago. no one contacts me unless they’re asking for money or a favor. no one seems to genuinely know what the hell I’m actually all about, so it’s hard to connect with others. i don’t have the drive to educate myself on topics that I’ve been interested in nor to keep at making art, which has been a hobby of mine that’s been at least some part of me, for years. my diet is shit, my body feels like shit, my mind feels like shit. i don’t know what to do. it’s hard to keep caring. everything surrounding me seems to be fraying at the seams and i wonder if i should go ahead and call it quits. I’m bored and sick of dealing with this and more. it’s so hard to not feel like I’m whining, but if that’s what this is, so be it. being tough has done nothing towards getting me to not feel like this.
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I guess we all feel a bit embarrassed to tell strangers our problems…but that’s what this site is for, so not to worry.
It seems you’re working way too much, not eating and sleeping properly and not getting any downtime for yourself.
If its possible, I’d suggest finding a new job entirely and dropping these two jobs that you dislike.
I find it’s just better to make more money at one place and work less hours in total so you have more time for yourself and to cultivate better relationships with friends and family and to just relax, smell the roses, work on hobbies. It’s really good for your mental health.
I guess I had a relatively “easy” early life in that my parents worked so I had the freedom to have fun with friends and to study. Not to say we were well off, we were lower middle-class, made enough to get by on and meet most of our needs.
Ofc like most kids as I grew up I had to get a job, which I hated, but then having an income made it worthwhile, but early off I was always trying to find a way out of the rat race, came close a few times but didn’t work out as hoped.
I felt I missed out a lot in life, while I had some good times, I know it could’ve been better if I played my cards right.
I’m turning 50 later this year and will also finally go from renting to owning if all goes well in the next few weeks to months….so that’s about the only good thing happening for me and a promotion at work.
I’m hoping to then get back in shape and find a partner and then do some travelling as well.
Like you, I had some things I wanted to work on, esp. business ideas, but the older I get the less likely I can make it happen. It sucks being stuck at a job too because you can’t work on other projects that can bring you financial freedom.
We’re social beings, we need some friends and family in our lives to feel ‘normal’ so I’d suggest working on mending bridges if at all possible. I realize in some cases people just don’t want to be friends or vice versa…but it couldn’t hurt to try.
Otherwise, you’d need to try to make new friends from scratch, usually best to find them through school or work.
I’ve had suicidal thoughts for most of my life…but for now as my life is improving, I plan to ride it out.
But there are days I would end my life without hesitation if it was something that was easy to do….because I basically figured life out and for me there isn’t much I can do to recapture some of the best years I had, esp. when I was younger.
So sometimes I feel that it isn’t worth living-except for the few people I care about. At least with the knowledge I possess today I can avoid making dumb mistakes and hopefully not miss out on good opportunities that come up for me, if and when they do.
I’ve given myself another 10 years….if I don’t feel that I’m better off or happier in that time, and after my mother passes away then I will pull the plug on this sometimes good, but mostly bad, existence that has been forced on me.
yeah, I’m trying to get out of both. got an interview at another job not too long ago. it pays less, but it might be more my speed… i can’t leave home yet anyway, so it should keep me. 2nd gig is through a guy i work my regular job with but he seems to keep trying to dodge my requests to go ahead and move on from doing it. would just stop going, but I’m trying to be professional and accommodating about things.
I’m young. turning 23 soon, and I’ve accepted that more or less, life will be boring. and that i’ve got responsibilities that are outside of myself. so i try not too worry too much about how happy i feel, all the time. but on the other hand, it’s hard to function when I’m not actually satisfied in any way with how I’m living. probably my main problem as of now is that nothing is cathartic, so everything just eats away at me more and more. graduated school 2 years back and only went part time and while I’m cool with my current coworkers, i don’t mesh with them, on any real level. and with me not really going anywhere, it’s extra hard to make any actual friends. I’m not the most social person in the world (and others realize this), but there is a loneliness that gets very hard for even someone like me to deal with.
and both the family members that i said i don’t get along with are narcissists, so reconsolidation is pretty much off the table — especially for one of them. i don’t go out of my way to have any negativity towards them, but i just don’t interact with them unless i need to.
I’m trying to give myself more time too. it hardly feels worth it. hopefully we can both find some sort of solution. one that gets us through this. good luck to you
Good idea, sometimes even if a job pays less but if you’re happier there then its worth it. You’re still very young and have the chance to make some mistakes until you find a place you’re happy being at.
I used to be outgoing as a kid, then I got a bit more shy and as I hit my teens I just hated my life so I wasn’t that social.
But I realized it’s just better to be outgoing, since you get more benefits in life…so eventually I was more my “true self” in my 20s. For the most part I was really my own worst enemy and prevented myself from taking advantage of good, “once in a lifetime” kind of opportunities.
Becoming more social is mostly a learned behavior. I’d suggested reading up on things, watching vids that are entertaining, because people like to be around others that make them laugh or tell them things they didn’t know before. It’s a good way to make friends and build relationships.
Thanks and good luck with whatever you decide to do as well in life.