Did you ever had someone tell you, that by thinking positive, you’ll also attract such.? I keep trying to tell people, that it is the complete opposite for me. When I have a VERY RARE happy day, where I’m not in a lot of pain and my mind is light, some time later something absolutely terrible will happen to me. Like oh: Here is a letter for your debts or “Yeah your friend is kinda in the hospital” or something breaks or someone around you is having a crisis.
When I have my mellow depressing life, things are mediocre bad. Only small things suddenly frustrate me, as if it were the end of the world. And let’s not talk about attraction with partners… You search and you never find what you’re looking for. Then suddenly you find yourself so very casually in the mental ward and boom, there’s your future sweetheart. (That has happened to me a long time ago, yes. We’ve broken up though.) So I feel like all of this is bull honky.