What abuse and gaslighting feels like. Nobody listens. A behind closed doors situation stays. It creates anger. It creates helplessness. The worst people make you feel this way intentionally. It’s hard not to lash out in some way. At yourself, at someone else. The world becomes this big face when your silent about abuse and isolated with it.

I do understand about the gaslighting because I was married to a Borderline for 25 years. I was in a relationship recently and she was married to a NArc who abused and tormented her also. Now she thinks Im her enemy and she thinks iI was sneaking out to the neighbors at night and smoking pot with them. I do not even know them and said hi with her maybe once or twice in 7 months. When I tell her I did not do these things and there are other things she accuses me of then she says Im gaslighting her. It breaks my heart cause I finally told her I think shes mentally ill because she has a lot of delusions. Im not so well myself as y’all know I am here for a reason. Now we are split up after a year and my heart is broken once again. Life is nothing but sorrow and sadness to me. I just friken hurt and I wonder how much more I can take. I really don’t see much of a point in living anymore but I hold on cause of my grown children also struggling with screwed up lives. I was abused also by my ex wife and she would even hit me in the face at times. I do know how you feel unfortunately.