damn psychosis

I just spent 15 minutes laying on my friends couch panicking thinking there was going to be a shooting at my friends neighbors house but it was just my friends son watching tv loudly in his room. PTSD trigger like crazy. I reached the mindstate where I accept I was losing control over anything happens and it was all going to end badly no matter if I injected myself in the situation. Good thing I didn’t because I would of looked real crazy If I ran outside screaming only for there to be no one outside. This freind is my only escape from my home because the rest of my so called friends drink heavily and get upset because I openly declared I won’t even have a sip. I used to be the life of the party so to speak and now I’m the quiet one like was I was a depressed pre-teen all over again.