among the lies that the crisis line has told me, that I’m “so strong” for surviving has got to be one of the laziest. Today I took it on, and they said others wouldn’t be strong enough. I said that I envied them, those without this “strength”, because they would now be dead, where as I’m not.
I don’t think they had a script for that, but they stopped telling me I was “strong”…. so that’s at least me with the high ground.
To quote one of my favorite movies; “sometimes dead is better.”
If I had any strength I would have completed. I wouldn’t be here, arguing about whether I’m strong or not. I’m not strong in the slightest, I’m weak, and far too kind hearted for this horrible place.
There was a time that death was easier to access, and as such “suicide” was often entirely undetectable…. now we live on where nature doesn’t intend, we spit in the face of fate and call ourselves brave… There’s nothing brave about living when you should be dead, just foolish and pigheaded, which are the two shining values of this pit.
I probably shouldn’t say “pig headed”, because research actually indicates that pigs have a greater capacity for empathy than people. We subject them to awful conditions, but that just reflects poorly on us. We are the animals, the cruelest and merciless.
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Idk… if you lay in a trough, the pig would eat you regardless if you were a good person or not. They’re savage!
Don’t feel bad about the bacon. They’d do it too!
The bad conditions- at least people are working to improve harsh conditions.
I get how you feel. Feeling nothing. Empty, it’s tasteless.
I still believe in you enough to say a prayer about your journey with this. Did you get your floor fixed? If I were there, we’d fix it somehow. I know the struggle! Right now, I’m noticing cracks due to settling and having to repair those.
swine justice lol
fuck I forget how to delete comments, I’ll just leave this here, I meant it in general comments.
Also, there’s this strange 1900’s boiler that reads “American Heating Chicago” on the front. It has a matchstick in it that looks fairly new… sticks straight up.
It’s stuck in my basement because my basement door’s a hatch. Hopefully it isn’t haunted or something.
Yep… My one time calling a hotline was BS as well. It was way different than I expected. People just are ill-equipped when it comes to it somehow. I mean what does it even mean to be strong.? Is the illusion of telling you that, gonna make things suddenly better.? The last resort for some people to talk to someone, and it’s going to be someone like that… I wonder it they ever feel remorse afterwards when overthinking the conversation, like I do.
You gave warm words to me once. That meant the world to me. It made me stronger that day to keep going. /I used to complain about those dreaded Christmas reunions.
And you’re out loud supportive of the lgbtq which also meant a lot at the time : ) working together, being there for each other creates unity
It makes the unsupportive parts of the world melt away and creates belonging, for me , the word strong just brings that memory to mind
The memory of your supportive words I mean
But yes I get what u mean… strong…. It’s kind of an accidental get well card because he strong means keep trying but you’re at a breaking point in a sense once you’re at the hotline …
Oh? Is that really addressed to me? I haven’t been here in such a long time except for short check-ins. I’d rather ask, before I reply to something that wasn’t meant for me and embarrass myself^^ My memory doesn’t serve me so well either.
Yes, you :3 I never forget these things when I’m at my lowest
You’re wonderful, virus.found.
been here since the pandemic. Those days were so. Hard.