Hello YouTube-Star

I’ve remembered a childhood friend of mine, who’s rather popular on social media.

I didn’t have any contact to any school friends, ever since I deleted my Facebook in 2014. I’m basically a ghost, nobody knows what my life became. I’m so glad about that too, ’cause let me tell you, being bullied even by your so-called friends, does something to your perception on how the world views you.

Adults don’t do that to me anymore. I’m happy, I met people who can look behind someone’s appearance, their disability and sexuality.

But back to my friend. I have watched a video of her, where she explains what she likes. And literally, I knew ALL of it, because I grew up with her. I wouldn’t say she was my best friend. The comments were all so lovely and that rubbed me the wrong way.

In highschool she treated me like absolute dog-shit, she told me to my face what her boyfriend thought about my looks. She became such a Diva, with guys eyeing her, like some piece of meat. She ruined my final grade exam too, when we were planning to do a presentation she just cancelled on me behind my back. I told her to her face: “What kind of person does this?” And she kept smiling, being amused. My friend, who happened to have the same name as me, started smoking because of her.

Let me tell you, the temptation, to write a phat post about her real personality, was just way too big. But I thought, that would defeat my purpose, of trying to stay invisible. People love to stand behind their influencers and worship them.

Do you also play scenarios in your head, of the conversation you’re going to have when meeting some old friends? I honestly would love to know, if she remembers any of the misery, that she’s done to me. But I doubt it, shallow people usually only care about themselves.

I know, it’s been a long time, but that shit still haunts me. I also keep meeting people lately, who were never bullied, I thought this was normal :/