Which is why I sunk into depression to begin with….. I’m not motivated to want a lot of the BS products on the market…. most things I have to make for myself
but then I get into the cost….. and it’s more than I’ve got, almost always.
I don’t know if it’s unjust or not being denied it, but it’s frustrating because I feel like all people want from me is some desire towards things, some kind of interest in engaging with the world…. and when I do come up with something…. oh no that’s too much. So you want me to get out of my bed and work HARD, and you can’t get me what I want, explain the economics of that to me, somebody.
Part of it is that I hyperfocus, when I find something I want.
So the example in this case is that I really want to build a wifi security camera that can be spun on a 360 degree axis. It’s something that has existed for at least fifty years. Heck, I’d even go wired if I could find such a thing.
Right now I’m running into a lot of them that are either unmountable, or meant for video production while what I want is to mount it to a pole and be able to see everything that can be seen from that specific position
just so we’re understanding the basic attainability; it would cost less than $50 in plastic…. naturally I’d need the .stl file, which exists, the guy just wants money for it, how much is unknown
the servo motor to rotate it is between $20 and $80, and those are the two most expensive parts
and then it’s a long list of $10-$30 parts…. the estimate by the one guy I’ve seen build one is $380 manufacturing at cost….. and I have no way to get that kind of money loose. I could con a store into giving me that much credit, but then they’d have to have the parts in stock, and this is so far into hobbyist territory that no store large enough to offer credit carries the parts
and it’s just that way, in all directions outwards of things I want…..
which is why I’m fighting really hard to want to stay in this place, having desires, as opposed to the bliss that is not really wanting, not really caring.
I get that we’re supposed to want cars and electronics and whatnot, but I’m set for at least five years, likely 15-20. I don’t care for food. My expenses outside of food are a few hundred a month… less if I had more storage.
and I get how these are 1st world problems…. other people are worried about eating, or having a roof over their head, or getting around…. but I’m here to tell you that when you solve those problems, it doesn’t satisfy, you’ll still want to keep going, and more and more, there’s no F-ing point to going much further than that.
there’s a lot of effort required, much more than the reward available on the other side, F—