Normal people obviously can’t relate to us. Only those in our situations can. SP is a place where we can all relate to depression/suicide and can talk openly. Which is a nice thing and something sadly lacking in 99% of all online or IRL spaces. BUT we all have our own different issues. What afflicts me is not what afflicts others on here. Say for example chronic illness. Or the other myriad health problems I have. Or financial problems. Or age.
There’s a good chunk of people here who are in HS/College/Very young who aren’t able to understand me, simply due to the simple fact that they’re young and healthy and haven’t really experienced life yet. Obviously not faulting anyone for being young and healthy, but there are some things ppl just won’t understand until they’re older or sick or completely alone with no help.
Yeah sure I can join other groups that are more specific, but those groups also don’t meet my needs. I can join tons of chronic illness groups, and I have, but in those groups, you can’t talk about suicide/depression openly and honestly there. I found maybe 1-2 groups that you can, but even then, they might have chronic illness but not the other issues I have or understand my way of thinking or viewpoints.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that I can’t seem to find any group where people really understand ME- the whole ME, and not just ONE tiny part. There have been a rare person here and there on SP that actually understood me, but for the most part, whether it’s SP or anywhere else, very few to no one really understands me.
Or depression/suicide aside, I can’t talk to ppl who don’t share the same views about the economy/rigged political and rigged economic landscape. About how bought the US MSM is, or about the Medical Industrial System in the US is designed to keep us sick. Hell, I can’t talk to both democrats or republicans bc I disagree with a lot on BOTH sides, bc BOTH sides are bought by the same elites who control everything. So who’s left I can talk to?
How can you have a meaningful conversation about life/depression/suicide/getting better/anything with people who don’t “get” you? You can’t. And their well-meaning advice isn’t going to work or help if they don’t really “get” you bc then you’ll get canned speeches like “just think happy” or “just be “positive” crap. And even on here, there’s very few who actually understand my kind of depression and fury with life.
TLDR- No one gets me. I can’t connect with other humans. There isn’t anyone “like me” that I can really talk to. Life is fucking lonely and depressing when you can’t connect with anyone. What’s the solution to that? I don’t fucking know.
Hence, my depression has spiraled out of control. Many of you on here are chronically depressed but managing. I used to at that stage for ages, but I’m at a point where it’s gotten so far beyond that.
IDK what to do. I need REAL HELP. I NEED to get out of my current situation bc it’s THAT BAD. But idk how to get out of my current situation (housing, fungus etc)
I’m at a point where I’ll fucking DIE if I don’t get the help I need. But where do I get the help I need?
7 comments
forgive me if im wrong, but i was on here all the time around late 2020-late 2021 and i seem to remember your name. i wish i could be the person to help you. from reading this post i also understand everything you’ve written. youre not alone. i dont know who you are or what part of the world youre in but youre not alone. to say life is difficult is an understatement. to say trying to live is torture for people like us is an understatement. i wish i could help you, but i dont know what to say to make you feel even a little bit at ease apart from i feel the same. maybe its the mental illness talking, but something in me is telling me to reply to this saying i know how you feel, i see you, and im sorry.
the thing is, i don’t think all of us are “mentally ill.” i don’t think i’m “mentally ill.” maladjusted, sure. depressed, sure. angry and bitter, sure. had trauma, abuse, raised in a shit environment by shitty family, sure. but not mentally ill. that term is given to anyone and everyone that’s ever experienced pain and trauma just so the Medical Industrial Complex can dole out meds and convince us we need to be on them for life.
this is our response to a sick, messed up society. this is our response to trauma and abuse and pain and growing up with a messed up family. many of us have “normal” responses to fucked up situations. if we didn’t have a fucked up situation, many of us wouldn’t be here.
anyhow, thanks for your comment. there really isn’t anything anyone can say to make it “feel better” other than other people are also experiencing it too.
i swear it’s the new generation with social media. i grew up BEFORE the internet (yes there was a time before computers and the internet lol) and ppl WERE able to connect once. albeit i still had a tough time but ppl back then WANTED to connect and made efforts. Now, it seems to me like ppl don’t want or don’t make the effort to connect with anyone anymore.
I know part of the problem rests with me- ok a large chunk is with me- but also I can see that society has changed and this new generation of ppl since social media is so shallow and surfacey and don’t know/don’t want to make deep connections.
Growing up, most people had a few close friends and a bunch of not close friends. And we saw them live in person. That was the norm. Now, everyone’s got a million and one “friends,” but not real friends. So it isn’t just me. It’s this new social media internet culture where “friends” are easy to make and hence disposable. We now have more “friends” then ever before and is so easy to make one, but none of them as close as the friends we used to have before social media. I just don’t think ppl make the effort to make deep friendships like they did pre-internet age.
Hi eternal. I’m from Romania. Would you like to visit ? I’m not a rich guy.
I really like you, Eternal. I’ve always given you the best of what I could offer you, because I believe you deserve to be happy. I’m sorry it hasn’t helped much. If I can’t give helpful advice, then I at least want to express that I wish I could take your pain away.
Thanks. I guess there isn’t much most people can do (short of someone giving me a clean place to stay or money to get out of my situation, which unless I win the lotto, isn’t going to happen).
So the most anyone can do is offer emotional support on here on SP. Hell, even that is lacking as most days I feel like most people don’t read my posts, or if they do, skip over it, or idk. I feel like I’m talking to myself some days.
I feel like what’s the point? Most ppl here either understand my pain or don’t care. I can’t expect other ppl to understand my pain either, bc I didn’t know what it was like to be chronically ill until I became one. Or what it’s like to have fungus grow completely out of control bc you’re living in a shitty place and can’t get out of it.
Anyhow, thanks for expressing care and kindness. That means something when I have absolutely nothing rn. I have no friends, Have NO ONE in my life willing to help me, family is absolutely shit to me, they’re the ones that sent me to my mom’s filthy hoarder house to begin with, when they knew I was already sick, and being here has made me 1000x sicker. I wish I never stepped foot in here.
I’m just so broken. I’m rambling I know. But it’s nice to hear some kind words. So thanks 🙂