so, uh, first of all; I’m not alone with this. that’s nice. thanks antemortem for uh, existing with the same horrible condition as I do.
I’m not sure how to deal with the fact I’ll never be a person. Never going to do anything. Won’t learn anything. barely talk to anyone. never transition. i like to think i would’ve been a good person at being a person. And instead my brain just broke! Wasn’t even traumatized by an event, my brain just did this. This is awesome.
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It’s pretty fucked up isnt it? In the movies when people lose their minds they end up in a metal hospital humming to themselves with a shit grin on their faces. Who knows maybe that’ll happen. But it feels more like being forever trapped in a glass coffin watching the real world but unable to exist in it.
Have you tried breaking your routine? Like if you’re staring at your computer all day have you tried shutting it off and doing anything else, even if its equally pointless? I ordered a shitload of books and I plan to stay in bed til I’ve read them all. maybe people like us can exist in fiction
For a while, I did nothing but read novels and novels worth of… fanfiction. It helped, sort of. It did distract me, at least.
I know our brains are wired different but def try to do something different, maybe something you used to like that you may have fell off on? or something brand new, to have a new experience? We tend to be inside people but we should try to go outside more and just see things that aren’t a room…
When I was younger I tried to teach myself Italian. I learned Spanish in school and I’m not fluent or anything, but I figured, another Latin language? Easy.
It did not go well. At all.
But it was a new experience and I’m grateful that I attempted it.
Find that thing you like to do and see what you need to do to get to where you can do that thing you like to do more often, and go from there.
what condition do u have?