I’m sorry

I’ve hesitated just about writing this, because I feared being told off— but it has to be said— I’m really sorry that I’m so stupid when I write things. I know I can come off a bit harsh sometimes with the way I speak my mind, but I didn’t mean to be so rude. I’m just going through a lot of endless pain, suffering from several treatment resistant mental and medical illnesses, and many things no one else understands. I carry these burdens alone, as I’m the only person in my life who I know who has these problems. I’m only here to speak my mind about my pain, because there’s no where else I can without either being censored, stigmatized, or made fun of by insensitive people. Because at least here, people know what pain really is. They know that life isn’t just “unfair” and that there’s much more to life than that platitude most people associate with. And regardless of the fact everyone here all has their own unique reasons why they’re in such agonizing pain, at least we actually know what it’s like, unlike so called, societally “normal” people who don’t feel this pain who just say they know what it’s like. But I never would’ve joined these forums if I wasn’t going through something. I truly am sorry if I came off in an offensive or ridiculous way. Nobody told me that, but I could tell. I’ve been up almost all night just stressing about apologizing for what I wrote 2 days ago. So yes, I am sorry for, as I admit, mentioning ridiculous amounts of details to some of my writings, as I have severe OCD. I’m sorry if I sounded selfish with my last post, and the deleted one, but I didn’t mean anything selfish by it. I just got a lot of traumatic things programmed in my mind, and I’ve been sick of the stigma. I believe that anything that is worth it, should be earned and worked for, and a huge part of why I’m so miserable is because I never get better, and I am unable to work towards things. I wish I could be good enough, but I can’t and I’m sorry. I’m just not good at talking to people. But anyway, there is no excuse for me to talk so bad, and I will work on that.