Numb

Got through more than a 1/3 of Jameson but less than a half. Comfortably numb. Still haven’t talked to my friends. Don’t really plan to anytime soon. Just feel no reason to talk to them. Did 2 interviews for an internship for amazon. I think it went well. Got nothing to complain about. Except the sprain. Other than that, I’m all good. Still think about her. Wish I didn’t. Wonder when it will stop. Flipped to see if i should call her. Landed on heads of al things. Doesn’t mean anything, but crazy how it got there. I feel like I’m on the precipice. On the verge of it mattering and it not mattering. I wonder about a lot of things. Just wish any of it mattered. I don’t know. I don’t know what I want. I don’t know anything. I don’t know if she cared about me. Don’t know if anythin I do matters. Don’t know. Wish I did, but I don’t. I listen to music to drown out everything. Always have. Hope I’ll be able to walk soon.