The past year

I got raped last year I was 16 and a virgin it was by someone I really trusted he was 21 I had known him since I was 12 and he was 17 I feel stupid saying we were friends but that’s how it felt we would talk and hang out sometimes but we hadn’t hung out in a while before it happened. I have spent the past year struggling trying to deal with it a couple weeks after it happened I ended up dating my best friend. That came with it’s own set of problems because one of my cousins around my age that I was really close with had liked him a couple months before so once we started dating my friends and family talked shit about me for about two months then my grandfather died and we just all stopped talking. Now I started talking to them again and we were hanging out last week we were going to drink and just hang out but I went on TikTok and on my for you page was the guy that raped me. It was a video of his daughter. So I found out that 2 or 3 weeks after he raped me he moved to a different state with his girlfriend and had a baby. Ever since I found out I have been so irritable and if someone touches me or gets to close I start having a mental breakdown and idk what to do because I spent so long trying to get better and that just set me back so far that I feel hopeless