I guess something just clicked. I didn’t think I’d ever follow through. Thought i would always be too scared. Now what’s done is done. Maybe I can just go to sleep
This place was a comfort to me years ago. Less so now, but i hope the people who need it continue to find it.
Half the people id like to say goodbye to are already dead and the other half left this place forever ago, so here’s a sincere thank you to just.. push out into the void. Goodnight, guys.
Goodnight, Captain
3 comments
I hope this isn’t your last post… But if it is, goodnight to you, 56xoxo. May solace be at the end of your road.
I’d rather you found the will to fight another day. If not, what to say, just wishing you good sailing, mate. Hope you find peace either way.
That’s the dream right, just go to sleep? Unfortunately, usually ends up a waking nightmare. I hate being the water on that parade. I do love sleep, and peace.
but I think the more you try to let go, the more life tries to suck you in. It’s all well and good to say they’re gone, but are they? Did you let them go?
and maybe I’m way far out with my wacky ideas. But if you cared about people, and they’re gone, when you finally get to the point of knowing in your heart that happened…. it makes room in your heart for new people to care about
and it’s a spinning wheel, an exercise wheel of caring, until you run out.
That’s the only peace. When people reach near their externally caused end, something they can’t stop….. and they make the most of whatever is left.
I promise it’s less than it looks like. Your mind is already actively forgetting some of it. If you want a preview, hang out with people near that end. It’s…… it feels really good to me. They have wisdom. Everyone is afraid of them, death phobia.
But not you or I, we want to know what that feels like, right? How easier to find out? And with little risk, what a bargain.
An all you can eat buffet of peace and the feeling of being near death, and people who need attention. It might be why I work in the field I do. It’s not the only reason, but it’s a perk for a suicidal guy like me.