The desire to die.

The desire to die has been a part of my life since I was a teen. I feel like my mind is a malicious entity that just does not want me to live a normal life. It torments me in cycles, letting feel me normal and great and then it all comes crashing down into the pit of despair. I hate it. I want it to stop. It’s ruined my life. Each iteration becomes worse. I isolate myself because I don’t want anyone to know. I fight it with all my will, but I am afraid that it will win in the end.