Unsound

My fucking thinking as of late has become unsound. There are stages to suicidal ideation and when you hit the critical stage you can feel it. You know you’re going to lose the battle, you’re gonna do something, you can’t think straight. In the aftermath of a suicide an inquest is held and the conclusion of these inquests is always the same namely the suicide took his or her life when their judgment had become impaired. You don’t know what you will do until you get desperate enough. I tried discussing my frame of mind with friends and got no relief. In reality nobody has friends you might have acquaintances or associates but no friends. There are moments of friendship but push comes to shove you’re on your own. In desperation I got in touch with a teacher from my schooldays, a highly evolved human being who likes to help others and a man I always respected, he believed in me and never gave up on me. Years had passed since we last met but like I said if you are desperate enough you will do anything.