No guilt! I’m troubled and full of worry at standard lately, I would find something. Now that this sad bit is gone, I have to figure out what to do with that, fight the desire to find something else to be sad about, that’s a cognitive redirect I worked out last month

Just, life, even sqaushed life such as it is, is a thing of joy. I’m thankful you’re still here. Maybe there are answers you can still find. Maybe there’s something you have to teach me. I don’t know.

I feel sorry I wasn’t more in tune with your decline before what happened. I didn’t say more at the time because I knew by the time I said what I said dealing with processing you had already done the act if you had done it.

and this is me just processing it live with you, quick and neat. It was a few hours processing that day, on here and with friends and family. I’ve had it before professionally and there’s a standard care plan. It’s like first aid, if you know someone that something happens to, it’s trauma and you go through the trauma toolkit.

Then I did a follow up process in my next therapy session. I think that’s most of my memories of it; That I was actually happy for you either way, if you succeeded you got out, if you didn’t you’d be back and I’d see you again.

because that’s how I’m wired now, mistakes have two outcomes both okay; success or not success that tells you why it didn’t work.

But, I’m hoping you’ll take the setback as a chance to reassess. You’ve probably carved some years off. Is that enough? You could take up some kind of socially acceptable addiction, like energy drinks.

and you know, when I wrote that post the other day about how I feel that my problems are related to what surrounds me, to how people see me, to the people I see, the social of my life, and I thought about you, it really made me think about you

I think you need to remake yourself, be someone new, reinvent you.

I feel like I sound schmaltzy as all hell.

I’m glad you’re back, for however long it lasts.