I would love to have someone to talk to about my interests, what’s on my mind, to learn about people. to laugh until I’m hurting with someone, I haven’t done that in years. since isolating myself and denying myself stimuli, my personality has flatlined and it feels like my brain is shutting down. i want to learn to speak to people again, it is physically difficult to do. it feels so hard to return to normal, i find it impossible to talk to people my own age (20) because everyone seems so hostile, everyone has this “us vs them” mentality all the time and it’s hard as an autistic to navigate these tones and social cues.
i’m thinking of seeing a psychologist but i’m not sure how they differ from a regular talking therapist and they cost twice as much, i wonder if they would be better at handling the topic of suicide. i’m trying to be better, very slowly. i guess i’ll “hang on” alone in my room.
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Somebody can correct me if I am wrong, but I believe a psychologist can recommend and write prescriptions after listening to your concerns. While a therapist can just listen and offer advice. But don’t quote me on that.
Having said that, I completely understand what you mean. Humans crave interaction. We are social creatures who thrive on the sunlight. Without it, we whither up and die like long forgotten plants tucked away in a dark and windowless room. Have you thought about joining a book club? Or maybe something similar just to get some social interaction in? Everybody wants to be loved and cherished, it’s just a matter of believing that your worth that type of goal. Some people spend their entire lives chasing the elusive goal of happiness, but I still believe that it can be achieved.
only psychiatrists can write prescriptions. psychologists and therapists cannot.
Gotcha, I stand corrected.
Thank you, I’ve been looking at mostly artsy and animal rescue related groups because I like to keep my hands busy when talking, haven’t had any luck yet. I think a book club would be really good to develop my conversational skills, the thought of it makes me quite nervous though because I’ve always had a hard time explaining my opinions. Seeing a psychologist would probably be best for me, I’ve seen several therapists and they eventually say something along the lines of “I’ve done everything I can”, ending the sessions on that note.
There is an animal rescue group that you should checkout on youtube called saveafox. They primarily deal with foxes in MN and FL, but that might give you a baseline of something you may be interested in for the future. Mikayla raines is the founder of the sanctuary and if i’m not mistaken she is on the spectrum of autism. Just kind of an interesting side note to keep in mind.
One thing I’ve realized about people – a lot of the time, perceived hostility is more about what’s going on in their life, and is often not directed at you.
Practice makes perfect. Just try to start working on those social skills. Check in with people you meet and try to build relationships slowly. It takes time to get close to people.
One_Day’s suggestion isn’t a bad one … not that I know fuckall about autism, but if you can muster the courage to try this option, try first with people that mist align with your values (social and political) but shy away from the zealots. It’ll instantly give you some things in common.
Otherwise, this old bastard enjoys trying to grow food … maybe see if there’s a local community garden to volunteer at can be a nice way to find low stress folks to interact with? Just a thought I thought I’d share
farmer dawg
Thank you one_day, it will be hard and lonely but I really should do it.
actually Dawg I had a go at growing veggies last year, nothing survived (except spring onions) because I was growing things in pots that shouldn’t be and I put zero effort into the soil lol, but I had fun messing around anyway. A community garden will probably be better
so i gave up trying to get better and don’t want to waste little money i have on a therapist or whatever. i don’t think talking therapies work on autistics anyway, vodka is the only thing that works.
I feel you. I spent the past three years feeling like I had no one to talk to. No matter how many friends I tried to vent to, telling them how I felt didn’t make me feel better, and their advice never helped. I guess, when people say, “I care about you,” or “I’m here for you,” it doesn’t mean shit if you don’t feel cared for or heard. And so, I’ve just been in this impossible mental cage.
I still don’t really know how to get out of it, but I’ve learned that the more I busy myself with school and work, the less apparent my despair feels. Even if this is only a temporary solution, I will say it has helped me not constantly think about how hopeless I am. It’s helped me be more at peace(ish).
I don’t know your situation or anything, but I think the best thing we can do (besides trying to “end it”) is to distract ourselves with things to do. Plus, when you involve yourself in things, you naturally end up meeting people. If you have a hobby, I strongly suggest partaking. Remember to join for yourself, though; otherwise, it will feel like a burden. And also, don’t feel that having “someone to talk to” is a prerequisite for getting better. Sometimes, the process of getting better is more independent than not.
Anyway, take everything I said with a grain of salt since I’m not a professional or anything. I just wanted to comment because I relate to how you’re feeling.
Also, stay safe with the vodka.
i feel especially in britain, people will say they care or ask how i am when they couldn’t care less if i died tomorrow. i’m naturally a very paranoid person. i’ve never fully understood this culture. this “mental cage” feels very real, i could never talk about it to normal people because they couldn’t sympathise. good distractions are the key i think, the type that get you in that “flow state”.
exactly 2 months since i made this post, not much has changed, although i have realised that people can be kinder than i thought and maybe the world isn’t so dangerous. believe me when i say it doesn’t take a lot to get me drunk lol, so i’ll be fine.