It’s been an eventful few days. I cried a few times. Me, crying, what is this world coming to? Big emotions, huge life forces, enough to overcome even my massive will. Unstoppable force meets immovable object.
I met with my therapist, and that really was the least of it. Just a concentrated rage dump there, really. I can’t let my rage out in polite society. I do hate this place, and most of all I hate all the passive jerks who don’t challenge it. I’ve been one for too long. So I’m trying to stop. Here’s where I get that maniac grin.
But it’s the sanest thing. I just speak my mind more. When I see cruel action, I call it what it is. Of course I’m called over sensitive. I hate this place, and most of the people in it.
I’m getting out though, in time. I’m getting compensated for my time. So, I don’t know that I can complain about it. I guess the biggest gotcha is I don’t know how much this compensation is actually worth.
I’m better compensated than a lot of people, but that just reflects how bad the market is. Worse, right now costs are eating at that. So, unless my employer wakes up to the state of the economy I’m gonna be getting thinner in the coming months. Again, I need to get out of this place.
You know what went wrong with Mao and North Korea? People starving. So if capitalism fails at that, communism has officially become just as effective in many areas. The reason is that they never had much of a shot at most other industries given their inability to feed their population.
I’m told I’m too political, but politics is people, and people are life. There are places that feed their workforce well, their economies boom. The better you take care of your workers and their families, the better they perform, it’s so obvious.
I wish I felt more like eating. I was going to say and sleeping, but I always feel like sleeping. If the world would let me hibernate for about 11 months….. that would be nice.
but I probably won’t get that sick again. This is probably just a seasonal bug, the kind I can endure while working. We best hope, right? Because turns out I’m still probationary. Probationary employees don’t get FMLA. I have one more sick day and then I’m out.
So if I get much sicker I’m going to check myself in, for depression. Because I’ll be really depressed if I can’t work because parts of my body won’t cooperate. I never knew I could work myself this sick.
The plan is to keep going though. One step after another, marching forward as long as my legs will carry and my balance will guide. One of those will be going soon. Or maybe not, what do I know after all? I just pitch in the morning to myself that evening. usually works.
I’m bribable. Put the right rewards out, I’ll put up with stuff. Right now it’s a new phone.
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2 comments
The state of the world is something I refer to plenty of times while I’m considering the things that are going on around me, but sheesh, I’m not even sure what that consists of even. We think about what the world is coming to, and yet I couldn’t say the first thing about what it actually is in the current moment or what it was beforehand, either way it seems to put you on a office chair and spin you around at light speed.
When it comes to those concentrated rage dumps, the craziest thing is that you of course can’t necessarily describe everything that has occurred, whether it’s due to limits in terms of time or having it be too much to keep track of. What’s admirable is able to still see to some extent how you fit into it, and your attempts to stop being one of those “passive jerks” as you call them at the very least brings some sanity to the table. And considering that I don’t see the problem with being “too” sensitive when we aren’t even keeping track of most things that go on around us, for the short and long term.
Now, in terms of the job market and wages, all that, I speak from the perspective of living in the United States and furthermore having not worked as of yet. I can only really tell that each and every time I hear about wages or job related factors it’s somehow never about the market getting slightly better but rather about layoffs (layoffs are nearly always tech or startup company related though, go figure), salaries getting decreased or a potential “inflation” in terms of degrees or credentials, in addition to food at the supermarket either giving less for the same price or giving the same amount for a higher one. I’m surprised that there’s no ups and downs there, and I would probably think we aren’t keeping track of them too much, but even with that being said it’s surprising that I haven’t heard much good about our markets for the last decade or so. Perhaps one has to be in more financially related circles to keep track of that, I’m just thinking it could be more likely that it’s getting better in different areas as a result.
If I take all of what I just said into account, maybe it’s more so about how our countries are doing in comparison to others across the world, for better or worse, even though the circumstances may still sort of be objectively bad. Those circumstances including medical stuff of course, the common cold still by all means has the ability to get in the way of your work and yet your employer would sort of have competing interests in terms of getting you to put in the hours job wise. In this case, one can overlap the other more than necessary, which results in not having some much needed leniency…
At the very least I do like how flashy new items can take away focus from all of the above for a second, upgrades always feel pleasant in terms of addressing at least a little bit of what is wrong, or inconvenient. That being said, what model(s) in terms of phone stuff are you looking at currently? The hardware has certainly gotten better in recent years compared to the software I feel like when it comes to how much they are able to fit in.
Oh man wages are like rock climbing, you have to keep a grip. I held on for years at 19 dollars an hour, and that was a hard wage to live with. Now I’m at, what? 23-28 an hour. Depends who you ask. I still feel like I see less than 19. I made some good investments in the middle years though. Got older, best investment ever, when I hit 65 having worked…. I’m a beautiful beast. Even though it’s been off and on work, I’ve worked enough years now to qualify to retire. So that’s nice., if I make it that long.
Phones though, talking phones. I’m a sucker for Motorola. I tried a samsung somewhere in there, didn’t like it. There was one Google phone I wanted, but it was out of budget that year. This year it’s in budget and it’s Motorola, the 2024 Moto Razr+. It came down to hardware. My old Moto Stylus 2021 has served well but it has issues and I need 5g. The smaller form factor helps, as well as the cameras. connecting it to other devices had been getting slow too, so might as well. My wife’s phone is getting old so she might be due for an upgrade soon too.
Oh, and it has an outside screen. Because I won’t wear a smart watch, I’m scatterbrained enough. But if I want to know I’ll pull out my phone. Or my phone is already out, because that’s the kind of day I’m having…… wouldn’t THAT be nice.
Today wasn’t.