I am healing

I found myself and it feels so good to be human again. I’m not afraid to feel anymore.

I didn’t want to confront the pain all these years.

I found truth and love in my own personal hell. I didn’t think I was worthy of it but complete strangers saved me when I was at my lowest point in life.

I remember all their kind deeds. Some might claim their actions weren’t all that helpful but to me, those actions and their words meant everything to me.

And now I’m here at my new job after having lost over 36 of them. I find that I’m not afraid to allow others to see the genuine me anymore. I now see how lost I was back then. My vulnerabilities weren’t things to be ashamed of. My vulnerabilities allow for human connection. I’ve realized that when I’m feeling most vulnerable, that’s the perfect condition to find human connection. I was so afraid of this for so long. It feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I don’t feel fear anymore, I just feel like a never-ending fountain of genuineness and love. It’s also so much easier to forgive others now.

I just feel strange and I don’t mean that in a bad way. I feel powerful but this time it doesn’t come from a place of pain and anger, it feels more steady and pure.