I’m such a fucking loser. I am such a ***** ass fucking loser for allowing myself to be disrespected. Not only is the disrespect happening once again exactly one year later, but this time I know its happening and I am so torn between how to handle it.
I hate that I fucking predicted this. I hate that I knew my girlfriend would go off and cheat on me at her new job and I hate that I was fucking right. I fucking knew it and it fucking kills me. How did this happen to me again in the same way in the same week as fucking last year. I’m such a fucking chump for staying with her. I fucking loved her I didn’t actually think she would do this to me again.
Everything had been so good just as we were looking for an apartment together. Why? Why do this? The way she could do this and I have no idea fucking kills me. I can’t even feel good about myself anymore. I can’t even believe her when she compliments me anymore. I can’t even love myself anymore. I feel so low, and undesirable, and unattractive. I feel so unappreciated and used. I feel so weak and angry. I didn’t deserve this.
1 comment
The way that i completely understand this fucking sucks. They leave you in literal pieces everytime and then act like you’re the problem. Left to fix what they broke on your own. I’ve determined lately that the best thing you can do is hate them. Let that fuel your fire to be better. Then when they try and come back they will realize how bad they fucked up. Leaving is the best thing you can do. But what the fuck do i know I’m just some dumbass behind a screen looking in.
I started typing this out at 2:22. Your angel number for awhile. Alignment. Right place at the right time. <3