Not to complain, but this site has been feeling pretty slow lately (could’ve used a stronger word)…it’s unfortunate, I’ve been coming here off and on for years (under other names)…but I see few people reply any more to posts…it’s too bad.
In some ways I feel the most ‘real’ here…sometimes I say things on SP that I wouldn’t say to those close to me.
I also get the sense that sometimes some people might feel slighted by something you might’ve said, or they get bored with your story and don’t reply any more…it’d be ok if there was a larger group here…I’m not looking to make friendships here, just to talk to others in a similar situation.
The main reason I started this post is that I was watching something on YT…this average guy rizzed up a hot girl on a certain vid chat site-and she was into him…just reminded me of the times I’d get lucky with hot girls myself IRL when I was younger. I just miss having a beautiful woman in my life…and nowadays it’s competitive out there, harder if you don’t have a lot of money too.
What’s worse is that I have a sheltered life, going from home to work and back and seeing family and friends….I rarely ever go out the way I did when I was younger like in university. I really effed up…I had the chance to wife one great girl…esp in school where there are thousands of chances and I had interactions with many pretty girls…I really just took it for granted, like they’d always be there.
I guess it’s a bit of an addiction…you just crave having that person in your life all the time….what’s worse is that you overlook the less pretty ones. Ugh I played my cards wrong and I’ll be totally honest…I knew from the start I didn’t bring a lot to the table in terms of looks (you can tell from my other post)…so I was willing to accept I’d have to settle for someone cute or average…but I think nature saw all my suffering and gave me an uno reverso card and made me look better when I hit my 20s…and it went to my head…also my inexperience messed me up.
If you managed to snag a pretty girl, hold on to her, it’s tough out there…esp. if you’re no celebrity. I get if you’re not in a happy relationship like my sister…she wants out, she could’ve done better, but they’re both stuck with each other due to finances…fortunately he’s not a terrible person, they’re just not a good fit.
I suspect if I don’t make major changes in my life, in the next year or two-then I’ll probably drift into old age the way I am now. If that’s the case, I wouldn’t want to be around anymore…what’s the point of going on, just to keep paying bills?
If someone could promise me I’d meet my match in 5 years…and it’d make up for all the lost time, I feel that’d be hard but acceptable…trouble with life is that it’s all random…you could win the lottery one day or like millions of people, stay poor your whole life. I’m smart enough to know the odds are against me, but I only keep going because I’ve beaten the odds many times in my life, so I’m hoping I’ll do it again, even if it’s just once (and I find my wife), then it’s worth it.
I just have to get my body back in shape and then when my life is in a solid, predictable routine, I’ll make time to find that someone special out there.
I will have to try to drag a friend out to be my wingman, because I sincerely tried to find my gf when I was younger, going to clubs alone (since my friends weren’t always reliable)…and it was pretty risky and dangerous if you have no backup…luckily while I had some bad brushes with a couple of people, there wasn’t anything serious…but never again.
6 comments
I guess some people don’t have a lot of bandwith to talk to other people on this site. I don’t comment that often either. Not really much to say sometimes. I feel like it’s always kind of been like this though. I can remember a few years back when a lot of people like rocketman or rivets would go out of their way to talk to people. I know rocketman posted a few months back, but I don’t know about all the other guys. Could be that they finally went through with it. Or they finally got happy lives. I like the second option better.
Can’t say I can relate to the beautiful girl situation. I’ve never been good with people, so that’s kind of a non starter for me.
Ya fair point JD…sometimes I read numerous posts here, but just don’t have the time (usually) or energy to drop some feedback.
True…I recall Rivets, great guy…but you could be right, maybe it’s been about the same attendance level here, though it felt like there were more posters before.
Hopefully they moved on to legit better places like you were saying…I was trying to do the same…but I’m stuck in the same hole for now. I’m trying to make some major changes in my life…so we’ll see how things go in the next year or two…I think it could be my long-awaited turnaround point.
Sorry to hear that you haven’t been good with people. I can tell you from a formerly extroverted, then introverted, then something in-between ambivert, that anything worth having takes effort.
Like if you want relationships, you have to charm people, make them laugh, applies even more-so with girls (for straight guys).
Though I do understand if one is experiencing sadness/depression, it’s even harder to put on an act, like “life is great…you need me in your life” sort of thing.
But with some practice you can pick up that skill…I’ve had to do that numerous times and it actually worked…so long as you can keep it together in public.
Rocketman and rivets huh? Been a long while since I’d heard from them here…
I remember seeing a reliable group of people who posted and commented in like 2016-2018 when I was on here pretty much daily.
I’m honestly surprised I still roam this site myself at this point…
I know a lot of people just read stuff, I read a lot of posts but don’t really have anything useful to add as a comment, so I don’t comment on everything.
As for me, had one relationship in late high school that didn’t go too well all things considered. Otherwise, it was just I liked some girls and tried to get into a relationship, but I’d screw it up to where the girls parents would tell me not to speak to their daughter again (that happened twice), or unrequitted (I like them but no reciprocation), or LDRs that went nowhere (minus one but with that one, I did not have the money to actually make it real).
So here I am, all these years later, still a virgin, and mostly not interested in being with anyone at this point. I just have this need to fix myself somehow, then maybe it’ll turn around in that department, idk.
I don’t think it will. I’ve partially accepted my bloodline ending with me anyway. But idk, the most recent one, even though she found someone else where she lives at and just stayed friends, I’ll still find a way to visit her, even if it takes a few years from now to get the funds together for it.
I think society and people are awkward and we’re all just trying to make things work in our own ways (for the most part).
Ya I felt SP was a bit more active like last year and soon…but lately not as much, though some people post regularly.
Well if relationships don’t work out and it gets to the point where the parents are telling you off…it’s just best to end things early.
I’ve had a couple of LDR’s….but it takes money to keep seeing each other and keep that interest going…so I gave up on them.
At least you’re not alone, in that others have had similar experiences…but keep at it, eventually you’ll find ms right.
Some guys just play the numbers game, hit on 100 girls get a few numbers….I tend to be more picky so it’s harder for me to find someone good.
Getting a girl isn’t hard…so many average chicks out there…but for me they gotta be really cute/pretty since that’s what I’ve been around since my late teens…hard to settle for less once you’ve tasted the cream of the crop.
Agreed with your last line.
It’s hard for me to compare on here, I’ve been on for over a year solid at this point. Sometimes, like this past week or two I get more quiet, usually when I’m in more pain.
I really only respond when I feel it is worthwhile, when I can add something. Some people don’t need anything from me, and I’m fine with that.
Thinking about the past is depression fuel though. I dig metaphorical graves, bits of me are buried out there. So the me I was isn’t the me you meet today. How it was is always a sad story, compared to how it is.
Yet, to function, you have to limit it. The past has to be killed and buried, sometimes repeatedly. So do the people you lost, you have to bury them with their memories. They aren’t coming back.
It still cracks me up how I end up the poster boy of disreputable and burnt out people. I only spent most of my life in the space, it wasn’t on purpose. So when I function, when I manage to convince the functioning world that things might be okay, that’s kind of a neat trick. I wish I could teach anyone it, especially me.
We all deserve to die, but what we deserve usually doesn’t come to us til we’ve moved on. So, immortal, written in stories and song, we must suffer the opposite, agonizing life. The harder you try to escape, the tighter you are bound.
I think of the comedian who was living life so fully, he walked out onto stage and fell on his face. He was dead, but no one thought so because they thought he was just being funny. That’s how engaged with life you have to be to get an early exit, I’ve found.
When they got up and checked his pulse, they found he died pretty quick after he hit the floor. It might have been a joke, we’ll never know. Life’s a laugh and death’s a joke it’s true.
However it took them half an hour to get up to him. No one thought he was dead. Dick Shawn was his name. I collect interesting deaths, I advise a peculiar hobby.
Interesting story, never heard of this comedian…but ya death can happen to anyone at any time and in strange places.
I’m beginning to think strokes/heart attacks are a good way to go, they seem to happen quickly and mostly painlessly (though some who’ve lived through it say it’s very painful)…but I figure once you black out, you’re ‘free.’
I bet in a century someone will find an off switch for humans and make a lot of money from it. Like imagine if you could zap a part of the brain with a laser then ends a person and it’s quick/easy.
I went backwards in your post-I do agree with what you said at the start…sometimes I have nothing to add to a person’s post so I don’t say anything though I’ve read it.
Though it just seemed like we had a larger group in the past…I mean if people improved their lives, I’m happy for them…it’s possible people just get bored of a site too and leave.