I’ll say one thing for these dark periods, I didn’t know I was as morally flexible as I apparently am, but I’d do almost anything to get out of this god forsaken crap bucket of a town.
I was stuck in traffic, just starting to come unglued when I had the thought; if you commit a federal felony in another state, they jail you there, meaning if I could come up with a severe enough felony I could be free of this crappy town. Yes, I am at the point that a federal prison anywhere but here sounds better than here.
I’m open to other things, equally terrible ideas. I don’t know who’s toes or other appendages or holes you’ve got to suck to get a break in this town, but I’ve started asking because that’s the point we’re at. Somewhere out there is someone with an unsucked something, and they are thinking to themselves “I’d let one of these poor bastards go free if only they’d suck my” and so on….. and I’d do it, nearly whatever that is, if it meant I never had to come back here.
It hasn’t rained in two months, I don’t know if I can take living in this, and of course the barometric pressure is rising so everybody’s stress level rises along with it. Tomorrow there’s supposed to be rain, we’ll see……
I was daydreaming about if some foreign power could develop an intercontinental ballistic missile that could get past our missile defense net….. and I realize that’s about as unlikely as someone setting me free of their own accord. Almost equal amounts of relief, except a hydrogen bomb relieves the suffering of thousands instead of just one. More cost effective, if anyone cares about such things.
It’s just, why, why is this place so awful? If I was to build a city, put my effort into making somewhere home and try to make others like it there too….. this one would provide a handy list of how to scare people off. Crime, homelessness, an entirely car dependent transportation infrastructure, lousy education, lousy economy. If it was a group of sadists that found this place, that would make sense, because it’s awful.
and of course there’s the temptation to light something on fire…… because maybe if we burned an offering to some diety they would bring us some fucking rain. I don’t know who, they’re all equally BS, but the God I was raised believing in doesn’t seem to be answering. I’m open to all options, any that either result in me not being alive, or not having to be alive in this craptastic wonderland of crap.
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I remember reading that ode you made to it a few days ago, and man, also being situated in a similar area, I primarily dislike the people here situated in my physical environment, I think that the general populace isn’t very pleasant asides from the times you don’t talk to them, go figure, but besides that and the god awful layout of everything alongside the needlessly high rent and all of a sudden it really doesn’t seem like much of a rational place to live in at all which is why there must be so many lunatics here, both employed and unemployed (wolf in sheep’s clothing vs a wolf with no tricks up it’s sleeves which meets you where it’s at, I prefer the latter), it’s not as bad in comparison. At least there’s some sort of public transportation system (having the option is nice even if I’d still opt for private transportation over time) and the education system is… existent. “Entrepreneurial” in a sense, but still, existent. It varies wildly but at least there are still some people which are okay. Economy wise we’re less screwed at least in terms of the groceries, but the rent is like, well, why bother? Seriously, most rational choice is to board the public transportation anywhere else, no one would live here, at least nobody sane, and yet I’ve been here for my entire life so far. Shit.
Considering how many things are at least slightly shared in common there, it’s not a good outlook. I can’t tell whether these places are built off neglect or are simply so messy because the topic matter of maintaining a sort of society in general is messy, but many places I look at (looking to escape this place before I fall victim to the rent) somehow have the same traits. Hoping that at the very least for both of our cases things getting better doesn’t literally require moving to another country, although if it does then even that’s obviously preferable. Hold on tight if possible.
lol it can’t be THAT bad where you live, is it? what if you and your wife just packed up and rented the house out? and take the rental income to live elsewhere? unless…it’s a dead town where no one rents and living costs are so much lower there than elsewhere.
It varies, how bad it is. It just started raining, really raining and we’re supposed to get more rain in the next two days than we’ve seen in the last two months. So that’s better, I like that. Windstorms can be fun when you hate the world you’re in and don’t care who gets hurt.
The town isn’t dead, I wouldn’t want to leave it was….. a dead town I could handle. It’s growing. The things that have been done to attract new residents are starting to make the older residents cranky and tired.
I want to live somewhere economically not that hopping. That’s my heaven. When a bunch of Californians show up in your town, you’ll know what I mean. Californians and Floridians, and they start intermarrying. Is it racist? Not really, we’re talking about crazy white people.
Meanwhile our climate is slowly mutating that way as well. Due to things done by people at the coasts, who we have no sway over.
I thought you lived in like one of those square states in the middle of the US. Well, if the state is “hopping” then your home is going to fetch for a great price when you sell.
“but the God I was raised believing in doesn’t seem to be answering. ”
-bc the “God” you were raised into believing doesn’t exist. if s/he existed, then that “God” is an asshole. If there’s a supposedly an amazing God out there, why would he let MILLIONS of fucking ppl live in misery/poverty/disease/salvery/etc? He wouldn’t, unless he was a prick. or doesn’t exist.
Or, it’s some kind of really amazing double act, like the Exodus. Everyone suffering at once, then help arrives….. The only religious metaphor I liked was Lord of the Rings. In Two Towers there’s a part where the castle under seige is losing, they’re barely holding the last line of defence.
And here comes Gandalf over the hill with a bunch of soldiers and just destroys the invading army. The forces of Isengaurd stand no chance against this new force.
So that’s the only seed of anything I’ve got. Maybe he’s like Gandalf, kinda useless most of the time, but now and then, useful. Not someone’s help to be turned away, apparently.
I mean I’m agnostic, and I’ve still got these people trying to draw me back in. It’s all a story, a bit less interesting than Lord of the Rings actually. Most people never finish those books, I’ve read the whole bit at least three times. I think too much, that’s my problem.
Religion is something “nice” invented by ppl, the elites probably, to make the masses feel better about their lot in life. Oh, you have a bad life? Don’t worry! You’ll have the best afterlife, for all of eternity! So ppl stop complaining and stop revolting, bc after all, this is but a fleeting mortal life, nothing compared to an eternity in heaven! And you know, rich ppl have a harder time getting into heaven than a hay through a needle (or however the saying goes). This makes the poor, the downtrodden, the indentured servants, feel better about their life.
Considering how the masses are constantly lied to, that might actually be how “religion” came to be.