Financials

So I’m fucked financially. It’s too late in the game to apply for anything and even then most ask for applicants that are looking for 1 year minimum of support. Extending by a semester would have been nice to do before the semester’s about to end. Could get a loan. Not a good idea. Can’t apply for a federal loan cause I’m only doing 1 credit hour so I don’t count as even a part time student. Private loans seem like a deal with the devil. My absolute last choice would be to ask my parents. The mentioned they might have figured something out, but owing them anything at my age makes me want to stick my hand in a blender. I really did fuck up by not getting it together until the last half year or so. I already realize my issues, but can’t seem to overcome them. First issue is that I can get fixated on an issue. To an idiotic degree. Take for example my variable diameter suspension system. I was a dumb ass that ordered an oversized helical gear. By a single millimeter. So of course I’m going to get a misalignment issue. But by some idiotic fluke it worked the first time. So I became convinced that I could get it done with the stuff I had. Failure after failure I just wouldn’t pick the easy answer of reordering a better fitting part. I drilled holes to put in another set screw, changed the way I assembled it, went through maybe 2 dozen different rigid links thinking their teeth had worn down but nothing worked. Eventually I caved and ordered new parts. Too late. I guess a few positives were that I designed better rigid links and managed to find an easier way to assembly the thing. It is what it is. Been like that pretty much the entire process. Wasting time on idiotic bullshit. If it’s not that I’m just straight up avoiding it because I’m too afraid I’ll fail. So I just run. Run and do nothing. Was like that pretty much the first year. Then I couldn’t run anymore because I was out of time. There’s a lot of things I could have done different I guess. Now I’m running out of time to find money. I estimate I need at least 14 grand to get through the semester. Rent in MA is a son of a *****. To be fair, my place is a bit big for one person. I took it because I was running out of options and too focused on my internship to really look for a place. Had enough room that I’d be able to get through it. I could find a new place, but nobody rents in the winter. Moving my shit in the snow would be miserable. If there’s one saving grace it’s that my landlord is a labmate. He understands my situation and doesn’t seem like he’d fuck me over. But rent is still rent. And I’m going to have to give him notice soon if I intend to vacate. Could advertise for a roommate. Take a bit of the load off. But I really really appreciate my privacy. People, especially strangers, aren’t really my thing. I’m running out of options and I don’t seem to have a blender on hand so I think I know what I need to do. Fuck.