I blocked most of the contacts in my phone yesterday. There are a few of them that I need for the next month and a half, but I decided to block everybody I didn’t need to contact for work or family. It would raise too much suspicion If I didn’t respond to them. I deleted my Facebook account too. It was the only social media presence I had, but I erased that part of myself as well. I hadn’t posted on it in months, and I can’t stand that crap anymore. It was weird doing this stuff yesterday, because it felt like the first steps in erasing my presence in the world. That’s not necessarily a bad thing it just feels like a weird thing to realize about yourself.
In December i’ll have to shut down other things like my bank account, my amazon account and so on and so forth. Winding down your existence is kind of a weird process. But this saves my family the hassle of needing to do this after i’m gone.
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It seems you are committed to this now. We didn’t talk a whole lot, but the few times we did were pleasant. I hope it gets better for you some how. Strange miracles happen sometimes. Regardless I hope you find peace where ever you may go. I’ll see you around a little longer, but in case you go through with it and I don’t get a chance to say it, it really was nice knowing you.
Right? It’s a lot of effort, isn’t it? I had thought about all this, tying everything up and finishing everything. It is a LOT of work. and when you’re depressed, shit just doesn’t get done (for me). but in your case, you seem pretty determined. hope all goes well.
have you picked a date/time? like Jan? and what happens should you fail? any plan Bs? cuz…most attempts end in failure. i’ve met a lot of ppl online who literally shot themselves and survived…which is scary.
what is your way you’re going to do it?
Well, generally during the holidays is when most ppl feel more depressed/suicidal. So “happiest” time for the year for only SOME ppl. For the rest of us…
my dear one, please forgive us for when we people have hurt you, we did wrong, we were mistaken. Please ask for help, do fervently ask for help in your voice, thoughts and actions, and you will receive help. Please do not seek a permanent solution to a problem that no matter how serious it seems to us is nevertheless temporary and overcomable.