said doctor, aint there nothing I can take?
I said doctor, to relieve this belly ache?
I said doctor, aint there nothing I can take?
I said Doctor, to relieve this belly ache?
then he said; “Now let me get this straight, you put the lime in the coconut you drank them both up”
The sicker I get, the more I sing, I’m singing half the time I open my mouth not working. I’m not okay.
20 years of working my butt off, and this is the thanks I get, 66% of these jerks would rather have red hats than me. My current work won’t exist here if his plan goes into effect…….. he’s supposed to be the jobs guy? He’s the biggest threat I’ve ever seen to mine. I had to retrain for this thing too, I had other employable skills once upon a time. I’ve retrained for enough jobs for two a year since I turned 20. No one can say I lack work ethic.
I’m tired, dead tired and this was my last respite, something I could hold onto while I try to figure out how to escape conservatism…… you can’t escape it, that’s the message I’m getting. Getting really suicidal again, days from checking myself into someplace….. because you can bet your ass this state is going to foot the bill for this breakdown. THIS ONE THEY DON’T GET TO PRETEND THEY DIDN’T push me to.
If I break, my decision supposedly. Looks a lot less like it from this side.
I have to follow past me’s advice and keep focus, at least for two more days. I’m not tapping out in the last leg of the marathon. If I go down, it won’t be letting my team down. I was going to say the agency, but frankly screw the agency. They could have done more to stop this. If we were efficient, instead of constantly having to be investigated by the feds for not doing our jobs.
and our new agency head comes from another agency recently thrust into national spotlight. What a humiliation of a state. Little psychotic manic fantasies are popping up all over lately. Like what if I was governor, with a legislature in MY pocket? Wouldn’t I be able to fix it? I don’t know, there’s a commitment here to misery and bigotry. This middle aged white guy probably won’t fix that. A younger version of him tried.
It’s just…. over, me hoping in these people. This cesspit. Swamps of sorrow and disease. Death was everywhere I looked today. I thought about joining myself with it, that maybe that’s the only freedom left.
Yeah, this isn’t how I talk when I have even a semblance of stability. What I have is the determination not to flop mid week. This is my outside work part going full pirate dispair, while admitting that there is dirty work that must be done until the ship is ready to set off. When an island dies, some people cry, some people give up and wait to die. Others build rafts and seek greener pastures. Somewhere out there, people are building rafts to escape this sinking ship. Maybe they need a social worker. America knows it doesn’t need me anymore.
Was it something I did in another life,
I try and try, and nothing turns out right
for me
Bad Karma, coming after me
Bad Karma, killing me by degrees
it’s a dog’s life, and it’s not my fault, oughta hang my picture in the all time losers
hall of fame
Bad Karma, it’s a low down dirty shame, oh yeah.
Bad Karma, it’s uphill all the way.
1 comment
I’m sorry this is happening. At least you are aware enough to check yourself in and stick it to them. Nobody really knows how this is going to turn out. He’ll do his best to make everything as awful as possible. But there are going to be people that fight it tooth and nail. People are going to get hurt in the meantime. Wherever you land job wise, hope you get a better deal. I’m ashamed to say I didn’t do my part. Texas makes mail in ballots so convoluted and voting in Massachusetts seemed a little pointless given how blue it is. Could say the same for Texas but I wanted to at least try. Got wrapped up in my own shit to really figure out their bullshit system.
I hope you manage to get through this. Nobody can say you didn’t fight.