I’m not at my lowest by a long shot, but I’m not doing well. I’m really not sure how to recover until my career takes some turn. It’s possible at this point, but not certain. Somewhere in the past few years I stopped believing my value was directly related to employment. It is nice to be employed, gives a bit of hustle and action to a day. That’s not a right, it’s something we want to happen.
This is all me being very rational and nice about the thing that all I need is an employer to stay in business long term. I need them to find a function that they need me to perform in the long term as well, and I can adapt to that function well. The other functions of the business should be outsourced as much as can be. Unless it is something involving the same machinery that I manage, it doesn’t seem it should concern me.
Yet it all appears to concern me because I have no assigned quota or code to review. Somewhere there must be a problem unnoticed or a stumble unseen and I can see it first and help those people out.
I don’t know how I can manage the transfer from Oklahoma to Michigan, so that’s a bit of a jump. I still want it, it’s just more complicated than I expected….. Only earlier today I had stripped back a particular part of my daydreaming head, the part associated with my desktop background and I realized it was there to scare me away from moving to Michigan. I don’t intentionally put all of these in there, but I know that people in my life have been slipping such things in…. I don’t know how, but it’s something going on.
Finances are getting wierd lately, not really sure how to put that any other way. We don’t have to go without or anything like that, I mean apart from repairs to my house. That’s part of the clamp keeping me here. If the things in the house were fixed it’d be easier to sell.
I just don’t know how to look for work sometimes, because I’m so fed up with employers. It’d be different if they called me up, or if I got an email from them saying they heard about me and my skills. How’d that be? Like I’m the valuable player?!
I’ve given up crawling to them, pretending they have some special sauce that makes them better than other people. They take me as is or they take someone else.
Nothing has ever felt like this before, and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not.
1 comment
Hey, I remember you disliking the current state quite a bunch, it’s good that you’re finally getting out at least. Your points about employment at the very least ring quite true personally, fortunately or unfortunately it is more complicated than just having a job or not value wise.
You’d most probably have what it takes when it comes to filling in at least some role from what I remember, your skills span all over after all and that’s quite the good thing in a job market which doesn’t guarantee any specific role or field, just throws out at you whatever it may have at the time and place. A bunch of this is pretty focused on just the time and place yeah, I wish I kind of took that into account sooner.
Hopefully the next place does go well though, if the environment is right that’s arguably one half of it solved.