If i had a gun I’d shoot myself to die and let my relatives see me because they made me do this
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share your suicide story
If i had a gun I’d shoot myself to die and let my relatives see me because they made me do this
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I’m the exact opposite: I want to never be found by anyone, and I don’t want to use a gun (just in case someone does find me by chance, I don’t want them to see a mess). Ironically, I live in a state (in the USA) where I could go out right now and buy a handgun at a sporting goods store, but I have no idea how I’d find fentanyl (or something equally deadly), lol.
I’ve gone from where you are to where the poster is, when I’m suicidal anyway. I’m not feeling particularly suicidal at the moment, except about that I can’t keep electricity flowing to all the devices in this one room and that’s a constant irritant. Seriously, 21st century, why is THAT such a technological leap to keep the lights on without me having to go flip a switch every time the wind picks up?
I think the difference ended up being that I wanted my death to punish someone. Right now, my ex job, because I worked hard for them and they decided to kick me in the teeth for the effort. If I end it, I want them to see it because they deserve that trauma. They deserve worse, really, but I don’t have it in me to give it to them.
I don’t have it in me to give them my death right now either, but you never know.
There’s a strange satisfaction, in there being someone that deserves all the built up rage. I had a lot of it, it’s leaking out now.
Now that you mention it, I guess I might feel the same way in your situation, but mine is quite different. Sure, there are a couple of people who have (mostly) unintentionally fucked up my life pretty good lately, sending me back here to SP after being away for 10 years, but they are family, and I can’t do something so extreme to them. My exit from this shit-hole of a world will be enough of a shock when they start putting two and two together and realize I’m gone, since I’ve given no indication that I’ve ever thought about it before. A combination of being private and introverted by nature and being the black sheep of the family means they actually know very little about me. And probably don’t care to. I’ve always gotten myself back together after my life going south before, and they think I’ll do it again, I assume. But I’m tired of starting my life over, and now that I’m getting older, been single for a few years now, and have some nagging medical issues that I can’t afford to pay for, reasons to stick around are growing rather thin.
Would you let someone else do it for you?