I applied for my first job in at least a month, and there was a bit of excitement there; you know that feeling of what if I got the job and it would be nice to be working and earning a living and all that….
A few minutes later I realized I applied for one job. What are the actual odds of me getting one job….. the modern market has been pretty bleak. I tried looking in a few more places, and I tried to get interested in anything else and it just wasn’t happening. This was a flash in a pan, I got lucky in finding a job that was a decent fit.
Which led to me feeling so very tired again. I want to feel hope, but it’s such a narrow hope, it is against the odds that this singular job is going to see my resume and say “hey, this guy has a fair amount of experience, let’s interview him”, then that interview goes well. THEN after that they say “You know what, we like this guy, we should put him on.” It could happen, there’s just nothing left for me to do.
It’s been some time since I tried, because of how this feels, it is so hard to push when it is all so futile feeling. I just want to help people, this particular job would let me do that.
Well, what I really want is to fix my house and get out of here, but that’s a huge project.
I should note there is another job I’d like, but I’d have to already have my doctorate. The job board that I found the posting through keeps sending that job to me as if to taunt me. Yes, I’d like to finish my doctorate, but at the pace my life is going I doubt it’s ever going to happen. Ugh.