One of the 2 receptionists keeps lying to me about dates/times not being available. In the past, I would just call and hope I’d get the guy- the other receptionist- and he usually books the date/time I requested. But now she’s got him to lie and refuse to make the appts as well. Then one day they were both leaving an hour early and some other guy who I’ve never seen before was covering the front desk. Lo and behold- he’s able to make the appts for me for the dates/times I want and gave me no issues.
I’m sick and tired of this CUN.T. Question- should I report her? My problem is if I report her to Patient Services, I do not have evidence that she’s lying- hard to present evidence if I am unable to book the appts myself or see the availability and screenshot it (other drs within the hospital you can). I know she is 100% lying bc she’ll make up shit like “there is NO availability of ANY afternoon appts, form 1PM to 5PM, on ANY DAY, for the next 4mo.” Which is clearly bullshit bc I was able to make appts whenever I got someone else other than her. Now the cun.t is telling me “there are NO dates/times available for ANY day other than Wednesday for the next 2 months” which is clear and utter bullshit. But since I can’t look at a calendar and screenshot it- idk if it’s futile to report the b!tch. She is clearly fucking lying. And now she’s got the male receptionist to be a dick and say there’s no appts available to me too so I can’t make an appt- OTHER than Wed or whatever fucking day she keeps making up.
I had brought it up to my therapist about 6-8 weeks ago when lied and said there’s NO afternoon appts of EVERY DAY M-F, available from now through the end of October- which was 4 ENTIRE months- clearly a bullshit lie- but my therapist backed up the receptionist and kept saying “it may be as he is pretty booked up.” He can clearly check his calendar and verify- but he didn’t and won’t- and i have a suspicion he WANTS me to not be able to make appts with him.
Do I go complain to Patient Services? At this point I can’t make ANY fucking appts except on days/times SHE wants to let me- and it’s impossible with all her bullshit lies like “there’s NO afternoon appts on ANY day from now through October. Or now “there’s NO appts other than Wednesdays”- well which is it bi.tch? So Wednesday afternoon is now suddenly available? And I was magically able to make appts on dates/times when I get someone else other than her on the phone or in person. The problem is it is only her and the 1 male at the front desk. And she’s got him lying to me too about the appts- yesterday he was going to book the 2PM appt until she signals him and tells him “that day is not available.” This is a mental health office so patients are OFC going to be deemed “crazy” if I go and complain to Patient Services. I don’t have proof she is lying but clearly she is- I mean what fucking place has NO afternoon appts for the next coming 4 months? And it just suddenly comes out of the blue when before I was able to make afternoon appts.
@heartless- this is your wheelhouse- what do you think I should do? I KNOW this cun.t is lying to me. And I have a suspicion they do not want to treat me there. I am labeled as a “BPD” which i was NEVER labelled as one before ANYWHERE in the last near 50 years of my life. And if you get labeled as a BPD- NO ONE wants to treat you. It’s like getting labeled as a pedofile or a psychopath- that’s how bad this “BPD” label is. And yes, there’s LOTS of literature into how BPDs are unfairly treated by mental health staff.
4 comments
I’m of two minds about it, interestingly enough. There are advantaged to both paths, and that’s the way I’ve started looking at a lot of things.
Personally I’m in a not going to war with the institutions that fail me phase of my life, which is why that is the one I’ll start with, the path of inaction. What happens if you allow the label of BPD to stick, and allow her incompetence to stand, while still doing your due diligence to document it?
(mind this is relative inaction, not total. I don’t ever recommend total inaction, total inaction is nonproductive.)
Assuming some competence, which I’ll admit is a big assumption, they should start you on DBT. I went through it when they thought I had BPD. I’ve been pretty passive for a long time now. For all I know they’re still using it on me.
The thing about BPD is that it IS a normal response to complex trauma, and it does look an awful lot like ptsd, I can’t remember if I’ve pointed this out in therapy or not. They are certain I have a lot of trauma. I’m certain you do as well.
Anyway, the advantage is that DBT does do something for trauma, and if they get you with a competent provider that might be worthwhile. It has similar advantages to CBT of helping to clarify matters, make things more rational, which is what I found most helpful in my times I actually sought out therapy…. these days I go to therapy out of habit and because I suspect I need it.
Now to the advantages of fighting it, of getting another opinion and bucking the system.
One is that this is a lot more purpose than I’ve seen you have, and I want to encourage that. My whole passive zen thing is only so easy for me because I have that hole in the woods I am aiming for…. when you have a goal it’s really a lot easier to flip off authority figures. So we have to account for difference in circumstance.
The issue with BPD is that the central feature is lack of identity, and I can’t really tell based on our conversations whether that is something that you struggle with. That’s the basis you’ve got to challenge it on though. If you have a strong identity, then you don’t have BPD, that’s the end of the story.
As far as the competence of the mental health staff, document everything, and go up the chain of command until someone listens.
It’s not a sure thing, what the outcome will be, but you will have the knowledge that you fought for a better outcome.
The worst case scenario is seeking out a new provider, if that is even an option.
However it may be the case even if you succeed at geting rediagnosed that the provider is no more competent with the new diagnosis. I had to try at least two other providers in this city before I found this one that is reasonably competent…….
and now I’m thinking about it, probabilities are that there won’t be a competent provider where I move next, but if that’s the cost of escape, that’s the cost.
You’ve always got to weigh out the costs and benefits of an action before moving forward. Yet, decisions must be made, sometimes for emotional reasons, and it’s okay if those reasons only make sense to you. I don’t envy your position, it’s a hard choice to make.
1- I’ve never been labeled as BPD in my life before. It was always just depression (MDD) or bipolar 2. Sure I have trauma, but almost all ppl with a mental label have trauma. The only reason I was dx with it is bc for the first time, I’m showing my anger. My anger in injustice and unfairness in life- and certainly in my life.
2- The BPD label is literally the worst label you can give to someone (other than sociopath/psychopath). Everything else is considered something you can’t control, but they blame BPDs for EVERYTHING.
3- The amount of gaslighting is fucking unreal. “The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.” In this case, the “party” is the mental health establishment- very much an institution geared towards milking patients for money as is the medical health industry industry. Everything you think/believe is told you “you’re wrong.” I am not stupid nor insane nor illogical. But as soon as they slap that BPD label on you, NOBODY believes you and automatically think YOU’RE wrong about everything, that your thinking is screwed up. Well you’ve heard me on here for years- I am neither stupid nor insane nor illogical. There is nothing wrong with my thinking or perception of reality- I see life as it is- that this is a shit world full of shitty ppl and rampant corruption, and if you’re not at least middle class, you’re pretty fucked in life. Yes, there are SOME good ppl, but the bad vastly outnumber the good. And those in power, almost no good ppl.
4- I need to get this dx removed. I just have depression. But even if I am BPD, the way they treat BPDs is just awful. It’s literally like being labeled as a pedofile or psychopath- that BPD label IS that bad. Like they treated me fine/normal the first 2 times I was there, then as soon as I was dx they suddenly began treating me god-awful. It was night and day from the 2nd visit to the 3rd visit. It’s been god-awful since then. My stupid ass should’ve left and never come back. I didn’t realize what they were doing until much later- kind of like how for example, a man gaslights a woman he’s trying to shag, or a man cheating on his wife, or whatever example- and he lies to her, puts her down, tells her everything she sees/hears/thinks is just wrong. That’s essentially what the therapist and psychiatrists were, and still, doing.
5- Anyway, the receptionist is a lying sack of shit. She’d tell me this date and time and this time is unavailable, yet when I call back a day later and get someone else on the phone, miraculous ALL the dates and times she tells me is unavailable is suddenly available. But now she’s got the other guy to tell me the same thing (lady is purposely trying to get me to go to AM appts bc AM appts are NOT popular and NOT filled and she wants to fill it). And refuses to give me any afternoon appts even though they are 100% open. I know so bc I got afternoon appts whenever I DIDN’T get this cu.nt on the phone or in person.
“The only reason I was dx with it is bc for the first time, I’m showing my anger. My anger in injustice and unfairness in life- and certainly in my life.”
“The BPD label is literally the worst label you can give to someone (other than sociopath/psychopath). Everything else is considered something you can’t control, but they blame BPDs for EVERYTHING.”
Holy fuck I feel that. If you wanna drive me into an absolute rage, just call me bipolar. It’s the most dismissive, most inaccurate, and downright laziest way to label anyone who reacts forcefully.
Say there’s a friendly dog who gets hit by a car and is in extreme pain. You approach the dog and the dog may snap, just out of instinct and reaction to the pain. Do you label that dog “bipolar”? Well that’s exactly what society and many professionals do.
They don’t realize that when pushed to the limits of extreme pain, suffocating oppression, or prolonged torment, some of us will react like that injured dog. It’s not because we’re “bipolar” and need to be medicated to chill us out. It’s because we’re suffering and no one seems to give a shit or understand…. the bipolar label being proof positive.
i’ve been dx as bipolar before too. heck, after being dx as BPD, i’d WELCOME that bipolar label back, that’s how bad the BPD label is. Well, if you saw the psychiatrist i saw, he’d prolly dx you too as BPD. Basically anyone with anger issues and trauma is labelled as BPD. But- if you have trauma (like SA or child abuse for), like who WOULDN’T have anger issues?
Funny how you use the dog example. I use the dog example too EXCEPT the one I always use is this:
-if you repeatedly kick and abuse a dog, then the dog grows up and hates humans and snaps and growls at all humans, is that a bad dog, or is that just the natural response?
-this is the same shit that happens to humans.
-actually, THIS part my psychiatrist knows, bc he thinks BPDs are dangerous and devious, hence all the hate onto me -_-
-but like…aren’t ALL humans effing dangerous? Think about ALL those killer nurses- those women who appear so nice and tender but are all fake and abuse or poison all their patients- THOSE nurses (who are NOT a small minority btw- where’s THEIR negative stigma? There are TONS and TONS of true crime shows. It’s a known fact that many nurses are psychopaths. But no, lets all tar and feather BPDs who have done NOTHING yet. Bc well, they’re BPD. Simply by existing we get hate from the mental health sphere. Arssholes.