The More I Study People, the More Pessimistic and Cynical I Become

Sometimes, I like to come here once in a while to just vent my dark thoughts. Take it or leave it.

When you’re unhappy, you search for the answers. I am always questioning why things are the way they are. Sometimes, I feel like I was born in the wrong universe. I have become obsessed with it. What is the best to search for then the internet, where people are free to expose their secrets. It’s believed that some people are so attention starved that they will tell on themselves or others. I was cursed to see this darkness in this world.

People are weird and creepy. First, I mentioned the attention part. Why do people love attention so much, even if it’s negative? I will never understand this. People literally go crazy if they are not in the spotlight. People get jealous of others when they get attention. They use others in order to get attention. Like I said even if it’s negative, if everybody is constantly making fun of this one person, others can get jealous of this person because it’s still attention. People will commit murder just for attention. I’m not kidding!! Attention and drama for that matter is like a drug for people. It gets you high, and then it makes you feel empty afterwards.

The reason I won’t understand the need for attention is because I feel like I get it for just existing. I have autism, where people can sometimes hate you for just existing, so I stick out like a sore thumb. Some people need to always act out just to get it. I can hang out, tucking myself into the corner, and never say anything, and everybody seems to know my name. It’s said that women are more likely to get attention, which men can resent them for. It’s been going on-line where men feel really invisible in society.

Second, people will be friends with people and secretly hate them. They can do this for YEARS. That isn’t weird at all. It’s like the saying: Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer. They will be your friend just so they can find ways to ruin you. Heck, maybe even gather information on you from people, or your social media. Be careful who you let on Facebook, or better yet be careful what you post. The term of people who secretly hate watch you are called Monitoring Spirits. They’ll read your post, but never comment on them, which is fine at first, the problem is they might try to ruin you in some way. Part of the reason why some people are friends with people they secretly hate is jealousy. It’s an emotion that I don’t fully understand. I felt jealous before, but I never did none of this stuff. People will date others and hate them as well.

Third, I learned that people like it when others are miserable and not successful in life. Humans are like crabs in a bucket. I believe that this is due to evolution where humans compete for limited resources and mates. A good example of this is called pity privilege, those I disagree that this is a type of privilege at all. It’s when people, the video addressed women, so they might be more likely to do this, lift someone up emotionally, so they’ll feel better.

This sounds great at first, but when you dig into it, they do this in order to keep other women out of the mating competition. For example, a woman who is very overweight or unattractive will ask why she can’t get a man or the man she desires. Some women will respond that she is beautiful or great the way she is. This technique prevents the woman from bettering herself and it can also gas her up to believe that she deserves a man that is out of her league . An extreme example would be a 600 pound woman thinking that she can get Brad Pitt. This farther prevents her from getting a man. It’s brownie points, that these “nice” compliments makes the one giving them to look like a good person.

I have also concluded that people don’t want to see me be happy. They will either lie and say that they do, or they just want me to suffer in silence. About the lying, it is more important to pay attention to people’s actions, then words. People have never supported my dreams, and I have now learned to never share them with anyone because they will plant seeds of doubt into your head. DO Not Share Your Dreams or Goals with Others!!!!! Achieve them secretly. That was one of the biggest lessons that I had to learn in life.

It is for the best to practice stoicism because showing any emotion would be like releasing blood into a shark tank. You show that you are unhappy by what they done, and they will do it again and even more. Tell them what makes you happy and they will destroy it.

I’ll throw another one in. It’ll be my final one, though I can go on with this. Women are nothing, but PREY to men. Telling a man to leave you alone is like telling a lion to stop stalking the gazelle. Men are driven to always want sex with as many women as possible just as carnivorous animals need meat. It does matter if she is either a model or a toothless meth addict. Some men will breed with what they can take and try to cope with it. Yes, attractive woman are treated better to a certain extent. They also get cheated on and abused like everyone else. The grass is always greener on the other side I suppose?

I feel like I am one of the few women who understand that sex for a man is just them needing to use the bathroom. I have a PDF file on the book called What Men Don’t Want Women to Know. It is disturbing, and I am someone who is into the disturb, so it takes a lot to shock me.

Knowing what I know now, I feel like I am better off being forgotten. I wish that I could wander the place like a ghost, not literally. I can go places and do things and nobody cares. I was jealous of a girl in high school, who people seem to leave her alone. She was alone, never saw her with anyone else. She is still alone even after high school. She would tell me that she was in her own world, and it felt like people let her. She even became the Spanish teacher that she wanted to be. Yes, I am always alone, but people don’t leave me alone. If that makes sense. They’re always watching me like an animal.