I do hope that the people from here I fell out of contact with, whether due to life or other circumstances, wherever you are, I hope you are all okay.
I was not in a good place when I met these people, and even though I was losing it for a bit, I met people who I felt a level of kinship with, and hope they managed to get somewhere good in their lives.
I sometimes go through emails and old chats, and I feel like that version of myself is so far removed from the person I am today.
I miss how much I cared for people as a young teen/early adult. I miss the more optimistic side of myself. Life has beaten me down considerably, and knowing the things I know now about the government, how this country is run, how monetary systems work, etc, I know that that version of me from back then is truly dead.
And yet, I think I was desperate for a girl to love me back then. I felt like I was so out of place I craved affection from people online I felt I had kinship with.
I’m glad I was able to look outward and live life a bit more, as much as I did get more and more jaded as time goes on. See what’s really important with true friends and family.
I’m still around. Idk why I still post sometimes, I think I just do it for my own catharsis at this point. I’m over a decade removed from when I started out on this site. Not sure how to feel about that. I’m still living a life. I haven’t given up hope. I hope I can figure it out.
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“ I sometimes go through emails and old chats, and I feel like that version of myself is so far removed from the person I am today. I miss how much I cared for people as a young teen/early adult. I miss the more optimistic side of myself … that version of me from back then is truly dead.”
That’s what I feel every time I look at old emails, pics, video. It’s gotten to the point that I had to delete a ton of stuff because it’s too painful to be reminded.
But you’re right, as we learn about the world, especially how we’ve been fooled by politicians, businesses or even family & friends, it’s impossible to keep that teenage optimism for long. Honestly I feel like everybody should be this way? I don’t understand how anyone above the age of 30 can be happy about life?
I also don’t understand how people can keep friends, unless they’re literal neighbors or coworkers. After we graduate from school, life gets so fragmented, chaotic and outright messy. How can people maintain social connections?
I guess what I’m saying is maybe it’s “normal” to lose touch with people, and maybe it’s normal to lose touch with who we once were?
Yea I ve come to believe it’s natural to lose touch everyone eventually, judging from the fact that all things in nature are dispersing constantly. Everything in the universe- planets, stars, galaxies- is forever drifting apart. That’s proof of drifting away as being the overall way of life isn’t it 🙂
^ That’s a perfect analogy. Well, I guess I can’t call it an analogy if it’s the law of the universe. But it’s a good reminder of how life works.
When I was younger (teens, early 20s) it was soo easy to make friends, find people with common interests, socialize at parties or whatnot. When you’re young it’s like you’re at the center of a new galaxy packed with stars and planets.
But stick around for a while. Pretty soon you’re that stray particle 100000 light years away from anyone else, getting further every day, just like every other particle in existence. Pretty damn depressing innit?
Well, the cosmos Is literally expanding according to scientific theories.
Things change, people change, life changes people.
I have people I’ve known for many years that I still talk to.
Sometimes you really have to have a built connection with someone in order for friendships and relationships to really last. The happy people above 30 managed to maintain their health, some level of “sanity” (or blissful ignorance), and have connections to keep themselves stable.
If I didn’t have the friends and family I had, I’d have lost it completely at some point in my mid 20s I believe.
I know I’m lucky, which makes me feel even more like a damn outsider. Like I’m always in this awkward middle with everything, which just angers me.
I do care about people. I hate seeing all the death and destruction and war, but I feel like a tiny fish in the ocean, unable to do anything about it.
I just need to fix myself before trying to help others, but I can’t fix myself without time and money, which are both in short supply…
It depends on your level of uniqueness or “weirdness”. If a person is too “generic”, then connections tend to come and go. If you are too different, it can be hard to meet someone else similar to you.
I actually wish I had found out earlier about how the world actually works. It could have mitigated some of the problems with lasting consequences.
I don’t think it’s bad to miss parts of your past. It means that whatever happened was actually meaningful in some way and continues to be a part of you. When I think about earlier periods of my life, despite all the pain and distress, I see someone doing their best they can and for others as well. I donated a portion of my first income (part-time job during high school) to a charity for troubled youth, which really resonated with me. And I’m glad that this charity after all these decades has continued its mission.
There was a typo; I meant to say “I don’t think it’s bad to miss parts of your past.” Is there a way to edit comments after submitting them?
I edited it. I appreciate all the insight as well.