Anybody regret anything? Or if you had the chance to undo / redo something, what would it be?
Me1- Should have gone for a different degree at a different university
Me2- Should not have quit my job / should have applied to others jobs
Me3- Should not have broken up with my ex (should have told him my depression, feelings)
Me4- Should have waited at least 1 day to drive back to DC
Me5- Should NOT have gone out that 1 fateful night, despite telling ex-friend NO a dozen times.
Me6- Should NOT have moved back home
Me7- Should not have worked so many jobs in College. Should have focused more on school and had more fun.
Me8- Should have done a triple major
Me9- Should have gotten my MBA for free
Me10- Should never have told this asshole something that allowed said asshole to manipulate my mind
Me11- Should never have befriended / trusted certain ppl (SEVERAL)***
There are some pivotal moments that change our lives forever…
18 comments
If you could change all those things, do you think you’d have a good life? Or would depression catch up no matter what you did?
I feel like I’d end up on this path even if I made all the right choices. Sure I have tons of regrets. But the biggest one is not killing myself the first time I thought of it. Would’ve saved myself years of pointless suffering.
OH I would definitely NOT have gotten hit by the car (x2) if I had not done any either 1, 2, 4, 5, or 6 above. My life would most definitely be MUCH better if I still had my health- both body and mind.
we have different circumstances. if i never had the car accidents (2 of them), would i be happier? fuck yes, bc i wouldn’t be physically and mentally brain damaged.
idk if you’ve ever had a life-changing incident. for those that have, if that incident (s) had never happened, we / they’d be much better off.
Well the question be, “would you be LESS depressed if…? as opposed to “would you be happy if…?”
“would i have a good life”? more like
“i’d have a MUCH better life if x, y and z had NOT occurred.
actually, i WAS close to attaining happiness. i could have married the guy i cared about. and for me, finding the “right” person is super important. like i’m SO much pickier about who I want to be friends with or who I want to be with than the avg person.
“Or would depression catch up no matter what you did?”
the question is- had i not had the 2 car accidents that fucked up my life, would the universe STILL fuck me over in other ways? Like Final Destination style? If the universe is intent on screwing me over, then no. Yes, I DO feel like the universe is fucking with me.
Or The Butterfly Effect where all changes STILL lead to a (different) but fucked up life.
people who were born into poverty and had abusive home life and childhoods- tend to NEVER escape this “bad luck.” The downtrodden rarely ever get a break in life. Any ppl with emotional trauma tend to attract bad luck/bad ppl.
Totally agree that our programming at childhood determines 90% of our fate. I had a shitty childhood, then life was grand, now back to the shit. And no matter how feasible it is for me to pull myself back to a good life, it’s not gonna happen. My shitty childhood constantly asserts itself.
Especially when the lesson we learn at childhood is “you’re worthless” then that thought hangs over our head even if we accomplish great things. But more likely, if you’re ruined at a young age then like you said, you attract or unconsciously seek out bad people and bad situations. I’m constantly sabotaging myself. And it all snowballs into more misery.
That’s why I don’t think anything would change even if I could correct my mistakes. I was heading toward ruin since childhood and the only thing that changed is it slowed down or momentarily paused when I was distracted with luck, luxury, love and all that shit. All I needed was 1 tragic event to tear me down to rock bottom, so that proves that any “happiness” I ever had wasn’t real. But misery feels real, it’s always there, it’ll never vanish like happiness does.
I have way too many regrets. I just try not to think about them (not suggesting that you shouldn’t think about them).
oh if only i could not think about them. they eat me up inside. bc each was a small thing led to a big fucked up thing, most i couldn’t forsee but fucked me up nonetheless.
Forget about regrets concerning work, a job is a job. You were never going to find happiness in employment. The Ex you mention is different, that could be considered regrettable. I squandered golden opportunities that were dropped into my lap because I was too much of a fucking coward to take action. I stopped said cowardice at 28, what I regret is not stopping at 18.
oh i know a job is just a job but it would have been far wiser to get another job before quitting, bc lack of money => bad health => bad decisions.
actually, i HAD wanted to line everything up but i suppose i ought to change the regret above to “never tell this asshole something that allowed said asshole to manipulate my mind”
1. That I let a teacher in 6th grade turn me off maths, I didn’t regain my passion for maths until Sophmore year of college which was far far far too late. I wish I had worked hard in math and learned Trig and Calculus in k-12 when it was free.
2. Not finishing High School. I could have had a free associates degree, I think that’s 30k of my debt right there. I dropped out and got my GED, which still could have been ok BUT…..
3. Not taking the free 4 year degree available to me. My mom works at a university and if I had gone right out of high school I could have had a bachelors degree. That’s $60k of my debt, which includes that above $30k.
4. Staying in Oklahoma after high school. So many of my friends found ways to leave for college out of state, that’s probably what I should have done.
5. Getting married the first time. No divorced person doesn’t regret their marriage to their ex. I got cheated on, and now I have to watch her life go swell while my life is not going as well. She has kids and her grad degree, and her husband makes really good money.
The only thing I get to enjoy is that she’s saddled with being on my mortgage.
6. I have self doubt about whether psychology was the right way to go in life. Accomplished as I am, I do have regrets that I didn’t go into something more practical like civil engineering or real estate. I really wanted to be in real estate for awhile.
7. That I didn’t finish my double major in computer science.
some good points. some same for me. i added more to my list of regrets above.
i was really interested in psychology in HS and College, but at university, I looked it up and found out that a person makes MORE money WITHOUT a college degree than they do with a BS in Psychology. That was when I was like fuck no, no to Psych. Went into business/econ/finance. Well that sucked my soul out so I guess not much better.
Yeah my business is in real estate slightly now so that’s kind of cool, I’m seeing if I can get further in, but I probably won’t ever get the thing I really wanted to be which was to be a Land man. That’s someone that negotiates land deals for oil wells.
I tried to get into business when I was doing my associates and I couldn’t make myself care about profits, something that has been a long term disability of mine. There was a lot of stuff in intro to business that just seemed stupid. I got a bit more into it when I learned about marketing later in my career, I probably could have been good at that if I’d have tried but there wasn’t a path there either.
It’s funny because my family knows I’m a good salesman and it’s just considered a wasted talent. Why did I spend all that time and effort learning to sell stuff? Add that to the regrets list!
if you’re good at selling, why can’t you do real estate? i mean you’d have to live in a better (richer) city/state, but pretty much anyone can get into (regular) real estate. These ppl can make millions, depending on the market (SF, LA, NYC, etc). i have no idea about land man for oil corps but i’m sure it’s not an easy entry (you have to know ppl i assume?)
well, if you don’t mind working for the devil, if you’re great at sales,you can be a pharmaceutical rep. They (used to) make obscene amounts of money. The commission is less now but I’m sure it’s still good.
#5- isn’t it funny how the shittiest ppl ALWAYS have the best lives? good ppl get screwed and all the shitty selfish dicks and cu.nts i know are living their best fucking lives. what a load of shit life is.
I regret going back home after flunking out of college, not at least trying a music degree before doing engineering, breaking it off with an ex of mine, even if it was long distance, and not saving/taking my weight seriously. I feel like I’ve set myself up to fail.
I refuse to quit though, I need to see this shit though, to prove to myself that I can be an adult and figure things out.
Mistakes. Poor decisions. Changes of heart. Yes, many regrets.
The truth is that were I afforded a chance to change the trajectory of my life I would take it, fully knowing that I would only manage to make a whole different set of mistakes, poor decisions, and changes of heart. More regrets.
It’s not my poor choices that make me unhappy. It’s my unhappiness that makes poor choices.
Regrets are no longer the focus. None of us can change the past. I choose to let it go so I don’t live in a state of despair. I embrace that I will still make mistakes and even have more regrets, but I choose to do so with humor and self acceptance. As much as I can.
Self flagellation is painful and can leave scars. I have enough of those already. I am not going to hide them, make excuses for them, or pretend they don’t exist. They are part of me, yet don’t define my worth.