I’m going to college, and it feels good to finally be making something of myself, but looking at my much younger classmates makes me realize just how much time I’ve wasted just sitting around wishing I was dead. Id regret dying without at least seeing this through, so im not giving up. But damn. I couldve done this when I was fresh outta high school at 18. The truth is, I was afraid of college, snd felt unprepared, and had no clue what I wanted with my life bc I spent so much of my time in this endless cycle of wanting my life to end. I had NO CLUE the opportunities I had at that time. I squandered it. Now, I work a job that leaves me feeling soulless five days a week, going to school on my days off from work, and I have zero time for myself. I am incredibly busy. And I couldve avoided all of it if I had stopped hating on myself and got to trying to build a life.

Life doesnt care if you start to drift, and in fact, people profit off of your drifting. Netflix is a good example. The truth is, we dont have time. One day, you wake up, and you realize that most people your age are ahead of you, and your chances of catching up get smaller and smaller. But, like me, if you find yourself in this position, you should try anyway. The pain isnt in failure, its in not wanting to be a failure.

I didnt value my life, and so now, I dont have much of one at all. My life is shitty. Dont be like me. Give yourself the space to fail, and try anyway. We dont have time. You either get busy living, or you get busy dying. If youre doing nothing, you’re only making yourself suffer, and prolongong it.