Feels like a fool’s errand to put any energy or hope into humans
Feels like every humans is going to backstab or turn on you at some point
Feels like everyone will let you down at some point- not just a minor letdown- but a “i’ll never talk to you again” kind of letdown / betrayal.
When you realize 99% of ppl were never good to you to begin with.
Even the ones that were “good” to you, do things that are not good for you.
Just….sigh…
20 comments
I’m so sorry,
I choose to appreciate when people do good, I love going to Church when I feel sad, I feel loved there
I’m glad church works for you…I’m no longer a believer so that’s the main reason I stopped.
I know you can meet some very nice people in the church, but sometimes I find they can be superficial/fake.
Ofc it’s not ideal for non-believers either, even if they are welcome to join.
It also gets more difficult to make new friends as you get older, since most people have their groups already and usually aren’t keen on making new friends.
*stopped going
Hey @eternal we have the same hopeless view of humans, but I think Sbilko is right, there are pockets of good people. Maybe enough to convince (or delude?) us into believing there’s hope.
The other day I read a short story by Wilkie Collins called “The Devil’s Spectacles”. It’s only a dozen pages, but it kinda hits home. It’s about a guy who gets a pair of glasses that show him the truth whenever he looks at people, so ofc he sees all their lies & hidden agendas, and he starts getting paranoid. But the thing is, the glasses only show him bad stuff. If a person has goodness, the glasses ignore it and show him something shady. Maybe the story was written for ppl like us.
1- “pockets of good people” – i know there are pockets of good ppl, but they’re like 10% or at best 20%.
2- i would love to have those glasses and use it sometimes. those glasses show reality, not just “the bad stuff.” the glasses show if someone is telling the truth or not, so it’s more on showing reality and accurately than showing “all bad stuff.” if ppl are bad and the glasses show it, it’s showing you the truth. and the truth s often ugly and depressing.
i see life as it is. i’m not deluded into thinking EVERYTHING IS ALL BAD or EVERYTHING IS ALL GOOD. However, SOME ppl have rather great lives. Others, like me, not so much.
Depending on where one lives, how much $$ one has, skin color, etc- one is surrounded by more “good” ppl or “bad” ppl. Some ppl don’t have the luxury of being around good ppl. For ex, if you live in a bad neighborhood with bad neighbors and bad schoolmates bad teachers, and shitty parents, well you’re not going to be surrounded by as many “good” ppl as someone with a normal upper social economic level. and as stated above, above a certain (obscene) income level, those ppl are surrounded by psychopaths. They are also surrounded by shitty ppl.
anyhow- reality bites. it’s not 100% bad and ppl are not 100% bad, but there sure are a LOT of shitty or uncaring ppl in this world. The “good” are few and far between. And I’m not just talking about law-abiding citizens. People who lie and manipulate are bad to me.
I guess it depends on how one defines as “good” or “bad.”
If someone murders- most ppl agree that is bad.
If someone cheats- most ppl agree that is bad.
If someone lies and manipulates others- I think that is bad.
If someone is selfish and doesn’t care about others (but doesn’t do anything overtly “bad”)- is that considered “bad?” I personally think so.
For example, I fell down a 2nd story when I was a very small kid. For 2 whole hours, I couldn’t move. Did ANY adult or passerbys help? Did ANY of them even bother to ask if I was OK? NOPE. Do I consider these ppl to be “good”? They’re not overtly bad, but I don’t consider them good. TONS of ppl saw me and walked on by. There were other times (as an adult) I fell down. Ppl SAW me fall down. Did any of them help?
Or when someone in school is being bullied- everyone SEES it happen, but NO ONE steps up to say anything or do anything. If people ignore this, are they GOOD?
If someone sees someone being stabbed (ie Kitty Genovese case) and they do NOTHING- are they a “good” person?
If you have “friends” that are never there for you (but they don’t do anything overtly “bad” to you- are they “good”?
There are lots of ppl who don’t overtly do bad things, but does that make them “good?”
Ok fine, maybe these are not the best examples as they’re mostly stranger scenarios. But when humans couldn’t give 2 shits about others- are they “good”?
I know I have a much higher standard for humans than most ppl do. Hence my view that most ppl are “crappy.” Bc I think they are.
when the world hasn’t been very kind to you, and when so many ppl have been so bad to you- you don’t believe the world is “great” or that most ppl are “good” bc most aren’t.
i’d definitely go with the 80-20 pareto rule. only 20% are maybe “good”- if that. Not talking non-criminals, but ppl you WANT in your lives. IMO for ME- that # goes down to like <5%. but i'll give the benefit of the doubt that 20% of ppl are "good."
when you’ve seen so many awful ppl doing awful things (ppl we’ve encountered IRL, not talking about ppl on tv or social media), especially to US, it’s kind of hard not to think of the avg person as shitty.
like i said- i’ll give the benefit of the doubt that 0.01%-20% are “good.” which still means 80% are “bad”- or not so great ppl who you don’t want in your lives.
Yeah I was kinda doped up on pills when I wrote that earlier. The light of reality reminded me how worthless the human scourge is. Even if there are good people out there, history and present circumstances prove that they are weak and ineffective.
yeah, that was a rather “positive” comment on humanity coming from you lol.
evil always wins out over good.
survival of the fittest? or survival of the most cunning/evil/manipulative?
For real, I need to he doped up 24/7 to stomach this world.
For the record I’m sober right now (haven’t taken my daily meds yet).
Yes, bingo, “survival of the most cunning/evil/manipulative”. Look at the men controlling this planet (billionaires & corrupt politicians). They’re hardly greek gods, they’re more like twisted ugly old ghouls. They don’t have the fitness to survive 24h in the wild without their butlers & handmaids, but they have something most people lack: cunning and total lack of morals/ethics/goodness.
Is that what 4 billion years of evolution has come to? From bacteria to fish to animal to ape to human, through all the magnificent creatures that have lived & died, nature has been refining its creation to be slimy lecherous twisted old man who values nothing but himself and his power over others? Golf clap, nature, you played a shitty trick on us all.
Now back to my pills 😉
ED…I agree with much of what you said. Relationships are complicated…some people run away over simple disagreements, rather than work through problems.
I don’t think it’ll be possible to find the ‘perfect person’…it has to be worked out. Even people who are ‘good’ and have been there for you can end up letting you down.
Also both sides have to realize they have to work on themselves to be better people.
Like I used to be ‘best friends’ with my sister but she tends to get corrupted easily by others…esp. after she got married to this not-so-great guy.
She also picked up some bad vices along the way…although she’s fairly generous by nature, she tends to be an ingrate-when someone does nice things for her, she doesn’t show the proper gratitude…or if she was given good advice, she forgets and later claims she already knew that.
All of my close relationships have flaws like this…in high school it was easier to make friends and usually people would stick by you, but people move or switch schools so you end up losing them…sadly.
Anyways, I don’t think we’ll ever find a great/perfect friend…you take what you get and try to make the best of it.
I have one friend who’s hilarious and we have a similar sense of humor and we always manage to keep jokes running for a long time. But then he also is religious and I’m not and we’re both headstrong.
We’ve just managed to compromise and try to avoid religion…I tried to get him to leave it, but he refuses…still I’m glad we remained friends, otherwise he’s a decent person.
sigh, at this point, i don’t think i can find good people to be close friends with or have a relationship with, that really understand me as a person, and who cares.
Anyways, I had a nice long post…but SP won’t let me post it after several attempts.
So I’ll keep it short….I agree, it’s hard to make new friends and it’s worse for younger people.
I feel there may be people who would care…but we’re not able to connect with them.
Sadly I must end it here…I wasted all that time on a post, and now it’s vaporized. Fix your site SP, this is BS.
This site is turning into shiit…I tried posting several times, it disappeared…I didn’t use any trigger words that I know of.
Now I can’t post something I invested my time on…will probably leave if this garbage keeps happening.
Trying again…I removed a certain word.
I care, honestly…I feel every person should have good friends in their lives. (How to make that happen is the hard part.)
Even if it’s just to vent…and they can lend an ear. Sadly sometimes people have to pay for that (therapy) because they’re alone…and usually it’s a waste of time/money.
Even though I want better friends, I barely have the time to deal with my own crap and family/friends let alone try to build new relationships…but I know with most people, they dont care about getting to know new people in their lives.
Like you vibe really well with some individuals-thinking you have much in common, but they’re not interested in seeing you outside your workplace for example…like wtf?
But ofc, everyone has their own game plans in their head and decides if you would fit in their lives or not…certainly I do the same too, so I can’t blame them.
I saw your other thread about people being less nice, very good vid…I’ll try to post there if I can.
Btw, you seem pretty nice, you’re very smart/knowledgeable-ofc we won’t agree on everything but will on most stuff…it’s almost like talking to my sister.
So if we knew each other in a different context and got to know each other personally, I’m sure I’d be good with having someone like you in my life.
It’s funny with so much social media, people still have trouble finding new friends or dates…I mean some do, but in my case it’s been terrible.
I’ve always had more far more success IRL in terms of dating and making friends…too bad because the internet is a great resource to bring people together.
I tried internet dating and barely got attention from attractive girls…but I go to a club or workplace and get eyed by pretty girls and occasionally date them.
I don’t understand it, I think it’s partly a ra.ce thing tbh (I’m brown, but light skinned)…but also from what I’ve read there’s like a 4 to 1 ratio for guys to girls on dating sites, so they’re flooded with options from thirsty simps.
I gotta work on getting back in shape but I think I’ll give the online thing a try again in the future…I recently had to do some things that put me in the company of a number of attractive girls, and even being not fit, a couple of them were still checking me out…must be my dad bod and nice eyes. lol
Ok I rambled on enough for now…don’t mind me if I don’t reply (or take a long time)…I have a lot going on, so I’m not here often. (tips hat)
Lol good thing I saved it…I realized confi-dante is a trigger word.
that’s crazy that we can’t say certain words. especially phar.ma. like why tf is that word banned? welcome to the new age of censorship. back in our day, we didn’t have all these banned words. like on YT or social media, we aren’t allowed to say suicide. now we have to use unalived. it’s so retarded. it’s not like using different words takes away the problem. it only makes it harder for us to search for stuff about suicide- which is exactly their point -_-
Totally agree…it’s time to drop all those silly ‘trigger words’ and just let people communicate freely.
I do understand they don’t want people to meet up for suic-ide reasons…but so long as nobody is abusive towards anyone else….then they should have free speech here.
Or if you’re going to block a post, at least tell people which words they need to fix.
so what’s new with your life that you’re super busy now? did you move? get a new job?
Sorry nothing ‘new’ in my life…just dealing with my job and health issues…but it is nice that it got me seeing some fresh faces.
Still looking to move but hoping to maybe buy a place…as opposed to rent. Prices have come down and are now affordable.
I just need to come up with a downpayment…so I’ll be talking to a family member soon to see if they can help out…if not I’ll just rent again, until I can save up enough.
As for new job, that’ll take more time…also the market here is really tight…I’ve had friends try to leave for better positions but they had no luck-so we’re all just trying to hang out to the jobs we have for now.
I hope things are getting better for you.