Most mental health forums I visit have tons of addicts & more-than-casual drug users, but I feel like SP is (mostly) clean? That’s really interesting. Commendable. Confusing?
All I know is when I’m at rock the fuck bottom like I’ve been for the last year, the only thing that keeps me from diving off the nearest overpass into traffic is a hard dose of something. My existence is so fucking artificial, like a functional coma, but the alternative is to wake up and end it all. Which, all things being equal, would get the job done more efficiently.
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u mean phar.maceuticals or street drugs?
I’m on pharmys (prescription, legal) but instead of taking the recommended daily dose, which is worthless, I go without for a few days and then take them all at once. That 1 high per week is enough to keep me alive.
Street drugs would be the smarter way to go, but I’m such a fucking introverted sociophobe I wouldn’t know how to find street drugs if you dropped me in the middle of a crack house.
Well, I suspect my relationship with cannabis isn’t healthy. Just because it’s legal and I have a medical card doesn’t mean I don’t have or didn’t have a problem. I got fired from my job last year for it. I checked and that’s a symptom of having a problem. Something else that worries me is that sometimes even when I’m coughing up a lung I just keep smoking.
The damage I’m doing, I worry about it. I really need to start making some money so I can at least switch to putting my dry herb in a vaporizer, that would lessen the damage. However, I’m always on guard against chronic use disorder.
I like to drink too, and that can easily slip into chronic use.
I’m definitely addicted to nicotine. Whether that’s doing damage is unknown.
All this is socially acceptable where I am, but in Canada I’d be a hard drug user that people would be worried about.
I still want to try LSD, Shrooms and Peyote at least once. It’s just a matter of having a safe place to do that.
I go back and forth about trying heroine, because it’s so hard to get the real thing, most of the time it’s laced with something awful.
I’ve done spice, and I have used the only drug I’m on worth anything extra when I had extra, but those days are gone I can’t seem to get extra of it anymore. I’m not going to the street for extra of it. If I had more money, I’d get better gear for my cannabis or get out of Oklahoma. I guess you’re right, too healthy. Goal focused is the thing. If I move to my own land, I can grow my own cannabis, and there are other advantages like growing and raising my own food.
Sounds like me: a legal addict. I’ve never gone to the street but that doesn’t mean I’m a healthy user, whatever that is these days.
But I know from years of being straight edge, not even aspirin, that the person I am today is a pathetic junkie compared to me at the top of my game.
I don’t know what to think of it. It’s easy to say I should get totally clean & sober, but that only works for people whose lives are basically normal. Sobriety and healthy living don’t work for people who are fundamentally fucked. And I suppose that’s where the good doctor swoops in and prescribes a lifetime of legal drug dependence.
I’ve always wanted to try psychedelics, but there’s no way I’d survive a trip now. I’ve had to be really careful picking my drugs because anything hallucinogenic will unleash hell’s fury. There have been cases of people on something as harmless as ambien who flip a screw and go on violent or deadly rampages.
“as harmless as ambien”
–ah but that’s the lie we’ve been sold. we’re brainwashed by Big Pha.rma to believe that 99% of legal drugs are “harmless” and “safe and effective.” Which they are most certainly NOT.
–Also, I know ppl who are addicted to ambien. And they DRIVE while being on ambien. Definitely not harmless.
You’re right about that. Ambien is bad news. There’s half a dozen reddits dedicated to ambien horror stories and weird blackouts, like you said they wake up and the car is parked in a different spot and they have no memory of it.
My ambien blackout resulted in me trashing a bunch of furniture (accidentally while trying to redecorate, it seems) and videotaping myself staring at the camera looking like a deadass zombie for 10 mins, creepy as hell. No memory of anything for a 12hr block. This was years ago when my mental health was much more stable… If I took it now istg I’d end up on the nightly news.
it’s not just ambien- it’s practically ALL ph.arma drugs, bc after all, they ARE still drugs, legal or not. they ALL fuck with our body.
Well here’s the thing, harm reduction could fix the whole thing, but I swear keeping drugs ineffective is essential to show a profit. It’s why I think that harm reduction should be removed from the profit motive.
I think if they worked out the chemistry the right way, it wouldn’t be a problem. This is what I’ve heard from people that tried some of the older drugs, before the modern ultra concentrated stuff. I guess the 70s and 80s were the golden era for high grade opiods. You could get heroine that was really not dangerous, which is why almost every rock star you know was on heroine at some point between 1970 and 2010. They’re always dying from it, don’t get me wrong, but they don’t really start dying from it like they do now until this century gets going. It doesn’t ramp up until the 90s. It probably has something to do with the breakup of the soviet states.
Valium and Qualudes are supposed to be pleasant. Every now and then I’m feeling particularly unpleasant I’ll say that in response to “how can I help you?” , “I’d like some Valium and some Qualudes please.” I’m just ever so polite about it. They tell me they can’t get me that of course.
One of these days I’ll say it to the right person though, a guy can hope. I’d have to make them take one though, because otherwise it might be poison.
Why can’t we just legalize all these things for people of a certain intelligence level? I mean, I know in general, but frankly it’s a lot of a dance to go through to go to the doctor and say I’d like a bit of this drug just to see if it makes me happy for a spell.
Anyway I’d have to go pretty far and talk to some pretty interesting people to learn the chemistry to make something like that I think. Or to find someone who knows the chemistry and has the equipment, point is someone has to be able to make it this isn’t lost science. I know the precursors are tightly controlled, for obvious reasons.
it’s bc modern pills were CREATED to be addictive and cause us to be more sick. remember, a cured patient is a lost customer.
“I guess the 70s and 80s were the golden era for high grade opiods. You could get heroine that was really not dangerous, which is why almost every rock star you know was on heroine at some point between 1970 and 2010.”
“Why can’t we just legalize all these things for people of a certain intelligence level?”
Dude you just articulated the thought that I’ve been unable to put my finger on. All this stuff about drugs and high functioning depression I’ve been mulling, it reaches that conclusion.
Like you said, all the golden age rock stars who invented a new direction of music, The Beatles, Bowie, Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Marvin Gaye, Ray Charles, Billie Holiday, Pink Floyd … or hell what if we dial it back to Chopin, or the great Victorian writers & poets like Poe, Baudelaire, Shelley. So many great minds & talents were propelled higher, or at least given the freedom, to explore new ideas through drugs.
Compare that to today’s musicians & artists who are all on legal, modern drugs like these new anti depressants and whatnot. I don’t think it takes a history scholar to see that art, music & creativity saw a boom during the early days of opioids & psychedelics, and that ended when phar.ma took over the scene.
Well it’s a damn shame because I think those 60s-70s-80s pioneers of “high functioning drug use” were really on to something, and 50 years later we don’t have the luxury of following in their footsteps. All we get is this crap that turns you into a worthless zombie who keeps coming back for more of it.
I drink, here and there.
I grew up in a place where drinks and weed are consumed as young as 13, I was avoiding all of that for most of my life.
I’m not straight-edge anymore, but I keep away from alcohol and weed. It’d be too easy to make it an escape for hard times, so I completely restrict myself.
Tried weed, was an interesting experience. Wondering if I’d be the type that would need it in some capacity for medical use… That being said, I’m going to stop drinking for a long while… I’ll have to see how long I last.
Awesome on quitting alcohol. I truly believe it’s the worst drug out there, just because it’s so cheap & easy to get. But it sounds like you’ve never really had a problem so I think you got this.
It’s tough to spot (or admit to) addiction/dependence, but I think you summed it up: when it becomes “easy to make it an escape for hard times”
Everybody had shitty days, but not everybody runs to the liquor cabinet, or the pill stash, or worse at the first sign of trouble. That’s what I do. It’s like there’s no other option.