No Chance

So I read the feedback. Or at least the big summary that one of them gave me. Made me realize I have to rewrite most of it. But I’ve been stuck on it. The main criticism was that I was basically proposing to small a thing. Something not worth considering PhD research. Which was true. All I really proposed were minor changes that could maybe fix the thing. Because that’s all I could think of. It needs to be this big novel change I’m proposing. But I can’t figure out anything. Best I could come up with is a control system based on force sensors in the wheel links and running tests with computer vision program to detect defects. Not really ground breaking. I mean I’ve just run completely out of steam for this and I haven’t even done much. Between not having a job yet and not knowing what the fuck I’m even doing for these fellowships, it all just seems very bleak. I keep wondering what’s the point but I still try to inch my way towards these unrealistic goals I’ve set. I’m sure if I really sat down and thought it through, I could eke out a semi competent application. Like with most things in my life. But I know I just don’t have it in me. I didn’t have it in me to actually give a decent thesis project. I was just handed a degree out of pity. Or maybe just indifference and wanting to move me along. Point is I know I don’t have what it takes and I don’t know why I’m trying.