What do you do when you’re at your max of what you can handle? When you are back against the corner? When everything in your life is broken in every way. There is nothing to be happy about or be “joyful” or “grateful” for. There is nothing good in my life. I am pretty much living purely out of spite.
I don’t know who to talk to (therapists and suicide lines have been shit). No “friend” cares or wants to listen.
I don’t know where to go (live)- money/cost of living issues
I don’t know what to do- how to get out of my situation when I am sick and poor?
I basically need to fix my health and need to live somewhere better (move to another state or country). But what do you do when everything in the US is too expensive? And going overseas has it’s issues too- mainly that 1- I can’t speak the local language and 2- I am disabled so how do I navigate and live in a brand new country knowing NO ONE?
I NEED A SOLUTION.
If no solution, then I’ll continue to rot and get worse.
I can’t even go to other depression sites bc apparently I’m “too depressing.” If you can’t be depressing in a depression group, then WHERE TF can one be depressed at??
And SP is kinda dead. Very few active posters and commentors.
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Do you have any safe place where you can be alone, like a spot in the woods, or in a pinch even locking yourself in a closet or bathroom?
Thinking back to my worst moments of crisis, I usually just start walking in the woods or on the train tracks (the train no longer runs, otherwise this might be a bad idea for a suicidal person). In a pinch I might go to a cheap ass motel and get a dirty little room just so I can watch tv.
I know it’s all a temporary and pointless solution, but sometimes that extra few hours of “sanity” can help reset your brain. So you can go back to life and take another beating -_-
no, that’s the thing. i’m in a terrible environment right now. both the “apt” (the place i’m at) as well as the shit city i’m in. i can’t walk around or go anywhere, and in my apt i have shit neighbors so i’m stuck 24/7.
i never wanted to be here in the first place but got lied/manipulated into it. Which is a long story in of itself.
But once I got here, I got sick (caught bacterial and fungal infection) plus due to shit neighbors and stress living with mother, I got sicker. And now I’m so sick that it’s very difficult to leave. But the longer I stay here, the sicker I’m getting, so I HAVE to leave. But again, how do I leave when I’m now super sick? And on top of that, where do I do that I can afford? No I do not have a car so I can’t even go in the middle of nowhere America and get a cheap apt. If I go overseas, I’m afraid I won’t be able to make it due to being disabled and due to not knowing the local language. SO I’m all around stuck and f*cked.
To top it all off, I have NO ONE. So I’m dealing with everything on my own. I have no place to run off to, and now I don’t even have my health anymore.
I made a huge mistake listening to my shitty uncle to move here and now I’m stuck. Ofc I get no help from him nor the rest of my family.
I have no reprieve- not even temporary. I can’t go anywhere here. I’m in a shitty expensive city so I can’t even get a cheap motel. It’s super $$$ here. At least $100+ per night for the crappiest dump so point in wasting money on 1d.
I need to gtfoh. But how? I have no health and no money. Even escaping to a 3rd world country isn’t cheap anymore or easy. Prices have increased A LOT there too since covid 2020. So it’s not even cheap anymore, just cheap-er than the US (unless I want to go to an unsafe place).
But more importantly, I don’t have my health anymore. I was sick to begin with which is why I decided to come here first before going overseas, thinking I’d be here like 6mo or so. But 3mo after I got here I got a nasty bacterial infection (bc my mom’s house is so fucking disgusting, which I didn’t know how bad it was before I came here), and I’ve been super sick ever since. My health just declined massively after that.
Anyhow, sick or not, i HAVE to leave here, bc the longer I’m here, the sicker I get.
But how do I leave and where do I go when I am poor and sick/disabled?
Like if I had money, then it won’t be an issue even if I was sick bc you can pay extra to have ppl help you or if you run into any issues.
Anyhow, I need to leave here but thanks to my shit neighbors, I’m too sick, and now I’m forced to stay here.
so how do i get out of this situation? i need to leave here but idk where to go. and in the meantime, the longer i am here, the sicker i am getting bc of my shit neighbors constantly harassing me and causing me to be sick. if they were smart and wanted me gone, they’d stop messing with me. but they won’t so i just get sicker. i would’ve left 2 years ago had it not been for them. they just make me sicker so i CAN’T leave.
That soo fucking sucks. Yea, the minute your physical health falls apart you’re screwed unless you have someone to take care of you. Or if you live in a country where there’s real healthcare, I suppose even then you’d have options. But here in the USA if you don’t have money you’re screwed.
I’ve also noticed what you said, how the minute you get sick or show vulnerability that’s when people pounce. Worse when they’re literal neighbors, basically “roommates” unless you have thick concrete walls.
Yea moving to another country requires more effort than the payoff. I suppose if your health was better you could try Canada, at least they have healthcare and cheaper cost of living, but the cold would probably kill you if you’re already sick.
You kinda need a total hail mary miracle, like if some company offers to hire you and pay moving expenses to a new town. If…. big hypothetical… if you had the freedom and clarity to think straight and concentrate, what would be your dream job? I think you mentioned once that you have a lot of business & managerial experience?
“I’ve also noticed what you said, how the minute you get sick or show vulnerability that’s when people pounce”
–Yeah bc ppl are shitty. They attack or take advantage when you are weak. When they know you can fight back, they are careful to not do anything for fear of retaliation.
a job is just not feasible at this point. 1- i haven’t worked in 20 years. who is going to hire someone who hasn’t worked in 20 years? 2- even if ii could work and get a crap job and make a small amount of side income, disability gets taken away.
why would you assume there’s such a thing as a “dream job”? the best “job” is to NOT be a corporate slave. if you have to work for someone else, and someone dictates what you work on, what hours you do, what time you clock in and out, and what salary they choose to give you, that is not a “dream job.”
i’ve worked in the past- very hard i might add- and we’re just slaves to them. and we’re all very replaceable.
only ppl who are financially well off can afford to have a “dream job” – ie doing whatever they want- which almost always means you have to be financially well off to being with to take that risk.
I wish I had a solution to offer you. Unfortunately, all I can tell you is that I understand being alone, being trapped. I don’t have life as bad as you, but that, at least, I can understand. I hope you find a way out.
thanks
I don’t have any really good advice. A lot of healthy, resourceful people also want solutions out of their comparatively less dire situation but probably will never be able to pull it off.
Sometimes a way to ease the pain, at least temporarily, is to accomplish something you want, even if it’s a small thing that you would usually dismiss.