This really isn’t the right place to talk about relationships but I have no other avenue and it’s somewhat related anyways, in that it has made me feel suicidal at times because I mostly missed out on that part of my life.
In grade school, I went through phases of being a cool/popular kid to being a nerd and also a class clown. I was a mixed bag, I excelled at academics and also athletics and most of the jocks hated me because I was beating them on their own turf, but I was never a big kid, just average sized.
I looked in the mirror in my early teens and thought I’d never be a pretty boy…so I told myself to value my opportunities with any pretty girl and focus on building a LTR/marriage. I was terrified of ending up single…not for social reasons but I truly admire females and always wanted to have one in my life.
However in my late teens, early 20s…my genetics kicked in for the positive and I ended up looking better than I had hoped and I had forgotten to stay humble and let it get to my head.
It was fairly exciting for a while, like a kid in a candy store. I dated some pretty girls and would always find someone better than before. I had this newfound power over girls but still was a nerd on the inside and didn’t know how to properly capitalize on this gift.
Of course the mistake I made, as all young people do, is to assume that you’re immortal and you can take your time. So I put relationships on the backburner and focused on education and career…but life happens, you have to get a job, pay bills, help family, etc…and I neglected my social life.
I gained weight, lost some hair…and I realized I was losing my appeal to pretty women. But once you’re out of high school/university it’s much harder to find a great prospect and I normally wasn’t the kind to approach strangers, except at clubs…but it wasn’t my ‘scene’ really.
A bird in the hand is worth 10 in the bush. I regret squandering my opportunities and letting my looks fade and not taking full advantage when I had the chance. So that really eats at me every so often. I had at least a dozen girls in my list over time that I could’ve easily settled down with but now I’m alone.
It’s also difficult because my friends are pretty much married or in relationships and I don’t really have anyone to go out to pick up girls. It’s true what they say, you’ll look back to your 20s and realize it was the best time in your life, it just gets worse after.
The decades fly by and by the time you get your act together, you’re heading into old age. I’m looking to go self-employed…and if it works, it should give me the time and freedom to focus on nothing but finding a great girl.
They are working on reversing aging and they have some real results…but it’s presently limited…but maybe if in the next 20 years they can reset your biological clock to your 20s, then I might get a second chance…but I see that as a longshot and in the meantime I’m going to do all I can to make a better life for myself by the time I hit my 60s.