Soda

I was raised with the evil lie that I was special and that there was a God who had a plan for me. As a kid I didn’t know any better so I foolishly bought into this dumb story and endured my suffering thinking that one day I’ll do something great and maybe get rewarded for it.

Of course once you are old enough to reason, the fog lifts away and you’re faced with the ugly truth that there was no plan. It was a fairytale they tell gullible people to feel better about themselves. I realized then that I was an imperfect being who was a product of two people who themselves were flawed and there was nothing more to it.

There was no magic paradise waiting for me after I’ve suffered on this planet. This is the only life I ever get and I could keep going or just check out whenever I’d like-it won’t be easy but it can be ended.

I tallied up all the pros and cons about living and decided it’s a mixed bag, there are some good things and some bad. If my life was much worse then I might’ve ended it sooner and believe me I came pretty close a few times.

I kept going because I had hope in time I’ll be like most other ordinary people. I’d get a house, a wife, maybe a family, work and enjoy some good things about life. Things didn’t quite go as I hoped and I’m still struggling to get established.

So I ask myself why the F do I keep going on when my life has been largely a failure with little hope of improvement? I think it’s like that carrot on the stick, I continue to think that things will improve, maybe not this year but couple more years from now.

I also don’t want to let a couple of my family members down, well one really-the rest are fine. It’s a strange thing to keep living even though you know you should be dead.

I feel I’ve had a “good run” in the sense that I gave it this life a shot, I experienced many things and unless I get rich, there’s a limit to how much more enjoyment I can get out of life because that takes money and time, the freedom to pursue your passions/interests.

I really don’t want to be a wage slave the rest of my life, helping someone else get rich while I just barely meet my needs and all my life gets wasted working my best years away.

Hard to believe there are mobs of idiots out there who are trying to stop people from ending their own life (those anti-Euthanasia groups). They have nothing better to do than to make other people’s lives even more difficult than it already is.

Just read a study about 110 people in Ontario who took their lives by asphyxiation/plastic bag over a 4 yr period. I say don’t feel bad for them, they are finally free, while the rest of us are forced to keep living.

I was raised as a Christian so I used to take the struggles in my life as a challenge and assumed that I’d be rewarded by God. But once I began to see a lot of major errors and contradictions in the Bible, it didn’t take very long to realize that all religions are man-made hoaxes and scams.

Then my real life began without the rose-colored glasses and illusions that religion brainwashes people with. I realized I was far from perfect or a ‘child of God’ rather I was a child of my average parents who should’ve never had kids in the first place and should’ve probably ended their life at a reasonable time, something I intend to do.

It wasn’t all bad, I had a great childhood but there’s a lot I missed out on. I struggled very hard to have a better life than my parents did but in the end, I failed. I’m still going to keep trying and there are goals I have in life I’d like to complete but I’m no longer that interested in living anymore. My complaints are too long to list and the benefits of living are too few.

Some people luck out and get everything they wanted out of life, others don’t. Some people don’t give a damn about being on the lowest rungs of society but I would never accept that for myself.

For now, I’m doing ok but I’m very far from where I wish I was. I’m going to try to make my life better but should I fail yet again, then I’ll accept defeat and follow in the path of others. There’s no such thing as an easy death, esp if it’s DIY.

Until Euthanasia becomes widely available to all people for any reason, most of us who are determined to end our lives will be forced to resort to less than ideal methods. But at least there are means that are very effective, fairly painless and quick.

Some people agonize over this issue sometimes for decades, I really don’t understand why. If you hate your life and if it will never get better, then why do people keep going? Why suffer more extreme loneliness, poor health, arguments with friends/family that lead to break-ups, getting bad jobs, or struggling in poverty for example? Fk all of that.

In my case, if my life gets bad enough with no hope of it ever improving, then I will focus all my attention and mental faculties to making sure that even if I screwed up my life, I won’t fail at achieving my death-that is the one thing I will definitely get right and I’ll be glad when it’s over once and for all.

I had to step outside my place very early this morning for about 10 minutes and it’s -7C (or -16C with the windchill or 19F/3F) here in Ontario. And I wasn’t dressed warmly enough. It’s been ages since I’ve experienced actual shivering with chattering teeth. It was so damn cold that I had to jump back in a few times to warm up and then finish the task I had to take care of.

I realized this was real torture. I’d rather be dead than to have to endure that freezing cold for an extended period of time. Homelessness should never exist. Everyone should have a warm place to stay, it should be considered a basic human right. I could argue food, water and shelter should be an essential service as well.

If we’re not going to take care of our fellow citizens who end up in such a state then at least we should legalize euthanasia so they’re allowed to escape a life of terrible pain and suffering. Some people live cheque to cheque and it wouldn’t take much to end up on the streets for them.

I know I’m just a voice in the wilderness with this thought but given what I just experienced and now I’m in my cozy 25C (77F) home, I just realized how fortunate I am to be in my situation.

Universal Basic Income makes sense, to help those in need. Some people have mental illnesses and they could never hold down an actual job. People shouldn’t be penalized for being born a certain way or experiencing hard times in the lives.

Just another reason that euthanasia should be legalized.

To all those who are serious about ending their lives, what are your thoughts on forming a Right-to-Die movement? I realize most of us probably live far apart from each other. But what if we could organize in groups and approach our leaders/governments and demand that we are given the right to be euthanized, the way we allow our animals to be put down when they’re sick or old?

In Canada we’re halfway there, we now allow euthanasia for the terminally ill, some are trying to include mental illness as well. So we’re a bit closer to making this legalized. My personal view is that is should be allowed for anyone at nearly any age, say above 10 yrs old when kids can make reasonable decisions.

Obviously we’ll have safeguards in place to prevent any abuse or coercion. I know some countries like Australia have experimented with allowing euthanasia for the elderly. Over time it is becoming more accepted and liberalized/legalized. But we can’t wait another 20-30 years for the govt to get its act together. I was wondering if people were willing to devote their time and effort to making this happen. This way it’s easier for future generations.

Why legalize it? Since only the state has the best tools and medicines to guarantee a safe, painless and quick death. Just imagine that rather than us crying about how our lives suck and wish that we could end it, that we could actually just go to a hospital and be done with it. But to get there we need to change some laws/create new ones and it won’t happen by itself-people need to demand it.

Also if it was already freely available, would you jump at the opportunity to end your life today or live more peacefully knowing you could end it any time you wanted to and therefore keep living indefinitely?