If I could beat 1 delusion out of the mental health profession, it’s the stupid idea that “every suicide is preventable”
That’s like saying “every murder is preventable” or “every war is preventable”. Face it, all of these types of death–suicide, murder, war–are part of what it means to be a human. So any fool claiming to reduce suicide to 0 is as silly as some teen beauty pageant where they say “my dream is world peace”. Sure, exterminate all humans and then you’ll have 0 suicide, 0 murder and 0 wars.
So if we accept that suicide is just something that hits a certain percentage of us, that some of us are, in effect, marked for death, then I suppose the only thing we can do is accept it the same way we accept death itself.
No fool, not even the airiest beauty pageant contestant will say “my dream is 0 death”. We just accept that it’s going to happen, and maybe(?) that makes it easier to bear than if we were vainly trying to cure what can never be cured.
I’ve known since age 5 that I’m going to kill myself. Never been a question, even during happy times. In fact, the thought of a “peaceful” death in bed disgusts me. The thought of going “gentle into that goodnight” is to me as pathetic as singing campfire songs about peace when the invaders are torching your village.
I’m 100% going to kill myself. The only questions are when, and how much can I accomplish before then.
Ironically you can’t ask for help by telling this to anyone. You can’t say “Hey Mr. Smithers, I really want to work on this project and I’ll do a damn fine job, but I may inexplicably jump off a bridge, so let’s make sure all my files are backed up and you have someone ready to take over.” Not only will that get me thrown out of any company, it’ll get me locked up so I won’t even be able to do anything with my time left alive.
And this is why I isolate. I isolate so hard that the mailman doesn’t know who I am. Unfortunately isolation accelerates the suicide. If any of you are familiar with the old Star Trek movies, I’m trapped, by society’s own foolishness if not my own, in the Kobayashi Maru.
8 comments
Well, yes and no. I agree that the vast majority of suicides ARE 100% preventable.
The problem is that society does not give two shits to actually do anything to prevent suicide, or the things that lead to suicide.
Why do people commit suicide? Most people commit suicide because of issues like money, loneliness, lack of purpose etc. And for older people, Health-.These three/four are probably the main reasons why people are depressed and suicidal.
If you don’t have people who love you, if you don’t have enough money and are always struggling, if you don’t have a purpose, or reason to live, then yeah you’re going to be depressed and suicidal.
Can society help with all that above? Yes – if they want to. But certainly not in the United States, no. People don’t give two shits about other people here in the US, let alone our government who is very unwilling to do a single thing to help the poor, the homeless, the hungry, the sick etc.
Wages are purposely suppressed by the wealthy fuckers. Most people are struggling with money issues, whether it’s a horrible job they must suffer through, or struggling to pay the rent, living in a shit neighborhood, living in this shit apartment, Not being able to go out and have fun because they require spending money, etc. At a minimum HALF of suicides have something to do with money, if not 75%.
Yes loneliness is a real thing. Many ppl who commit suicide don’t have real friends or a SO or family. Which not having money also hampers. Like you can’t go out if you have no money. Can’t make friends or find a SO. I mean yes it’s possible to find them online, but eventually you have to meet up in person.
For ex, for me, I became super lonely only after I became poor. Because no one wants to be near poor people. And this is BEFORE I became disabled. So I was just poor before. When your poor people don’t want to be near you, they don’t want to hang out with you, they don’t want to be friends with you, they certainly don’t want to be your romantic par.t.ner, And most definitely don’t want to help a poor person in any way shape or form. This is America. Most people are extremely selfish, heartless, and cruel. They few who are willing to help people. I know that does not mean just “volunteering at the soup kitchens” Which is just BS virtue signaling.
Like if People truly cared, then yes there would be way less suicide.
All it takes to stop someone from killing themselves is to make them feel they are heard, Or at the bare minimum, treated like a human being. Which most people are not being treated as.
People have to feel valued. Like their life means something to someone. Even a stranger can listen to someone and make that someone feel better and less suicidal, despite listening. If society actually cared, this is what people would do. But nah, not Americans. If you dare say something, people get pissy at you first “complaining.”
If people truly cared, they would be better friends to their friends, or to strangers. If you go to other countries, people are way better than Americans because Americans as well as the British are very very selfish. Very “I”. It’s always me me me versus “us” in other countries.
Also, in other countries, there is a social safety net work. So people don’t go hungry. People have a place to live and I don’t have to sleep in cars the way millions of working Americans do.
If society really cared about “preventing suicide “then all they need to do is set up more funding for food stamps and such. But Americans are such liars. Nobody wants to “help the poor. “America’s away too damn selfish to do that. What are you gonna raise the minimum wage. Which would help lift millions- many many millions- out of poverty. But nah, “Pull yourself up by your bootstraps.”
It’s shit like that that makes people want to commit suicide in the United States. Because corporations don’t give a fuck about people, other people don’t give a fuck about other people. There isn’t much humanity left here.
Are suicides preventable ? Well most are. But that shit certainly ain’t happening here.
Definitely some are preventable, but certainly not all. And yet there are too many people who think “all suicides are preventable”. While I applaud them for their delusional optimism (no sarcasm, optimism is worth a standing ovation in this shit world), the sentiment tries to group everyone in the preventable categories.
I called the suicide hotline once and the operator spent 10 mins trying to convince me I’m valuable, not listening to what I was really saying. Ultimately I had to stop and say, “Listen, I know I’m valuable. That doesn’t change the reason why I want to kill myself.” And the operator, evidently having no script to fall back on, was like “I don’t know how to help you.”
I’m one of those marked for death. And I know I’m not the only one. The reason why I’m lowkey obsessed with “high functioning suicide” that happens to athletes, professionals, scientists, entertainers and artists who are amazing at their craft is that their suicides are not preventable.
Case in point: Wallace Carothers, the inventor of nylon. Successful as fuck, respected as fuck, by all accounts rich as fuck (or at least well paid), surrounded by colleagues and friends, with access to the best doctors, could not be saved. His own doctor said years before his suicide that there’s nothing that can help the guy.
Granted, he’s like 0.0001% of the population and that’s why the profession largely sweeps him, and me, and anyone else who needs more than money, love, success as a reason to exist, under the rug.
I know, statistically that I don’t count. But it’s an extra insult to hear people saying and behaving like all suicides are preventable. That all we want is a hug and a lollipop and we’ll come down off the bridge railing.
Also, Most wars are preventable. Look at all the wars that America engages in. Not a single one of them necessary. Every single one of them preventable.
But we have corrupt people in charge and corrupt people at the top who make a shit ton of money on wars and selling weapons. When your business is making money off of death and worse and suffering, this is what you get an America that is all about war after war after war after war. These people are making billions. BILLIONS.
So yes about 99% of all wars are preventable.
Hard disagreement there.
War is nothing but crime on a national level, agreed? One country wants to steal land or resources, or commit a hate crime against another country.
So if we grasp that war is driven by the mechanism of crime (wanting what the other guy has, or wanting to hurt the other guy), you can immediately see that war will always exist, just like hate and envy will always exist. It’s baked into our genes.
Hard, hard, HARD disagree that wars are preventable. But feel free to prove me wrong and create world peace.
If you isolate, then I’m sure your mailman “knows” you by all the stuff you order online or by delivery lol :p
He literally doesn’t. That’s why I said it. Fake name. Nobody fucking knows me.
“So if we accept that suicide is just something that hits a certain percentage of us,“
>>Suicide rates are very very very low in some countries. And it is extremely high in the US.
>>For most people- not saying you- there is a fix or way out. Some people just want to have enough money so they’re not always struggling. Some people want a better job. Some people just wanna get out of their shitty neighborhood or state. Some people are suicidal because they are lonely and don’t have someone. If they found that someone, then yes, that suicide would be preventable. Most people aren’t “marked for death. “
For the vast majority of people it is situational – if the situation is improved then yes, they would be way less depressed and less suicidal.
But I get what you’re saying as this post is more about you feeling that you’re “marked for death” as opposed to the majority of the population.
For most people, it is situational. If they’re situation of circumstances improve, and if their lives improve, then they won’t be suicidal. That’s most ppl.
Ofc I’m not saying everyone. I’m not going to argue and say that that isn’t the case for you.
I do think that if you found a “worthwhile venture “to focus your efforts on, or if you found someone who truly understands you and found a SO, I don’t think you’d be as suicidal.
I’m not saying you’ll magically be happy happy and everything will be perfect. But I do think you’ll be less depressed and less inclined to off yourself. Not saying zero chance, just less.