I’m listening to a podcast of this famous divorce lawyer on Diary of a CEO. Obviously he only deals in divorces, and if one needs a lawyer, it’s never an amicable one (amicable divorces generally get settled by the couple themselves).
Anyhow, he says 56% of marriages end in divorce, and 86% will go on to remarry.
Obviously, we would all like to meet our soulmates and live “happily ever after.”
But I was thinking, is it better to be alone and lonely OR be in a relationship that is “mediocre?”
I say “mediocre” bc that’s probably about 50% of all relationships- not great but not horrible. I know plenty of ppl who are still with their partners bc they just don’t want to be alone. They don’t love the person and isn’t very happy, BUT it’s not awful either and they’re not alone/lonely.
Let’s say for the sake of easy math, that there’s also 25% are horrible and 25% are “happily ever after” (don’t know the statistics but I’m sure there aren’t good statistics on it anyways).
If, say those are the odds, then is it better to be single and alone/lonely or have those odds above? Like Be with someone who is just “ok.” You don’t love the person but tolerate him/her bc you haven’t found anyone else.
Obviously those in the bad relationships should break up- tho half those ppl still don’t bc they either probably don’t realize it’s “bad” or feel like it’s not “bad enough” to leave. Also, some ppl really HATE being alone, so they’ll tolerate (occasional or sometimes) bad behavior. I know lots of those ppl, both online and IRL.
Anyhow, the divorce lawyer says everyone says “never again” right after a divorce, but then they’ll meet someone and do it all over again.
If say those are the odds, if one is single, they will 100% be alone/lonely. OR take those odds and find someone who is “ok enough”? That’s the route that most ppl take.
Yeah, there’s tons of ppl online who CLAIM are happy being single but I call bullshit on that. Very few are happy being forever single. Let’s say there’s 10-20% who actually are ok with that (they generally have good friends, good family, etc so they aren’t “alone.” The rest are single and lonely and most won’t admit it.
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I am someone who historically have ended all bad relationships, even friendships, if I sense they aren’t great. But that means I’m alone/lonely.
I wonder if I’m destined to be alone forever ….
Or should I just settle for someone who is “just ok”? Should I take the route most ppl take? I’m not sure my personality would even let me be in the same room as someone who I didn’t at least “like.” So I’m not sure I can even be with someone who’s just “ok.”
My personality has always been “all or nothing” approach to life. I’m either all in, or out. Same with everything- work, etc. not something I can choose either as that’s my personality- either I’m super passionate about something, or I very much dislike/hate something.
I never thought I’d be single this long (I used to be super pretty and I’d always have tons of guys chasing me). But I’ve never stayed with anyone that unless I really liked or cared for them.
Idk… I feel like I’ll be alone forever.
And feel like I’ll have depression forever.
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For those who have a part.ner (and it’s the right part.ner and not just a mediocre one) and yet is still depressed/suicidal – how does that work?
I get having other issues like health, lack of money, bad job etc. which causes ppl to be unhappy with life.
But doesn’t having found the right person for you at least stave off deep depression/suicide?
I mean if there’s other life issues, yes I get one wouldn’t be “happy” but I assume one wouldn’t be completely depressed/suicidal if they’ve found “the one.” Or the right one.
Unless…the person they’re with is “good” but not “the one”?
Can you couples shed some light on that?