Every Friday morning, I draw up liquid estrogen with a syringe and inject it into my thigh muscle. Im so very grateful that I get to do this, and that I live in a moment in time where the medicine is advanced enough to remedy this horrible condition. At the same time, I wish I could just go about my day in peace, without the stares, the whispers, or the comments. Its exhausting, and lonely. And everyone who gives a comment says the same thing: “You know that no matter what you do or how many procedures you get that you’ll never be…” And every time, they say it as if its the first time anyone has ever told you these things, as if the first hundred people who told you didnt exist, as if all they have to do to “fix” you is say that, and youll be like, “Oh! Okay.” But they say those comments for themselves, not for me. Id just like to go for a jog, or to the supermarket, or on a walk outside. In peace. Left alone.
I wish I wasn’t like this, or that I had just existed correctly from day 1, or that people weren’t so horribly mean. I am so, so tired of it all.
But forget what they say. Im going to die someday, and thats why this is all so important. I want to exist as I am, even if the world hates me for it, bc everyone’s time on this earth is limited, and we only get one chance.