I’m not really “in pain,” or anything, but I do think about killing myself an awful lot. Â I’m not really interested in anything, there’s nobody that I love, and everyone that loves or cares about me will also be dead in about 100 years anyway, and I don’t believe in an afterlife. There really is nothing that I want to live for, so whenever a small problem comes up in college, or wherever , I always think about how much easier it would be to just kill myself, than to go through the trouble of finding a solution.
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I, unfortunately, view life very similar to this. I wish I didn’t, but I do. I’m not saying that the way you see life is bad, I just sometimes wish I had a better out look on life than what I personally do. None the less, I’m not interested in anything either, I have nobody that I love that loves me back, and the people that love me will all be gone too. Suicide, to me, also sometimes seems like a better solution than to facing my problems; however, I never act upon it. Have you always thought like this, or is this something new to you? Sorry, for the personal question, I’m just really curious, because I just started to think this way about two years ago. So, I was wondering if there was something in your life that changed the way you think? Or, have you always believed this?
Nothing traumatic has recently happened to me. For the most part I’ve always been pretty unenthusiastic about things.
“You’re graduating high school. Are you excited?”
“No.”
“You’re going to be living on your own now in this apartment. Don’t you think that’s kind of awesome?”
“No”
“We’re burying your grandfather now. Why aren’t you crying?”
“I’m um… Dehydrated.”
You said you don’t love anyone that loves you back, that implies that you do love people, but they don’t return you feelings. I think that I might be Schizoid, because I simply don’t love people.