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contemplating again

by fakingit
written by fakingit

suicide or living?
suicide: hurts others
living: hurts me
god fucking damn it i cant win. please let me die i cant go on with life its too painful. i neva once thought this is the life i’d get iwould do anything to not be miserable..so what will it be..friends have been silent all day..but i still dont know. suicide a no go? i may try but chances of success…i actually doubt it. im stuck here in hell. LET ME OUT!!!!!

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13 comments

zacurious 8/3/2012 - 7:37 pm

Hey what’s going on today? (I’m sure it’s the same as always, sorry) I did see your other post…

fakingit 8/3/2012 - 7:40 pm

@zacurious: well idk. just havent talked to ANYONE today and that hurts. its stupid i know

kalisue 8/3/2012 - 7:54 pm

It’s a no go! Talk to us.

fakingit 8/3/2012 - 8:03 pm

@kalisue: well fine. i have been on here all day just silent for the most part

zacurious 8/3/2012 - 8:17 pm

@fakingit I’ve been reading off and on, (I had a rough day today) but sometimes I don’t comment because I feel as though I’m no help. I’m always here to talk, I just don’t want my comments to sound stupid. Reason I don’t post a lot…

fakingit 8/3/2012 - 9:18 pm

@zacurious: sorry ur day was rough, and i doubt ur no help. i actually no thats a lie u r helpfulXD an nothing sounds stupid unless it comes from me lol

zacurious 8/3/2012 - 10:22 pm

@fakingit yea, I’m used to it…lately it’s been like that. What’s going on right now? What are you doing/thinking?

fakingit 8/3/2012 - 10:32 pm

@zacurious: right now? just got off the phone with childhood friend we go back to when we were 2 sadly we live thousands of miles away…im thinking that life is BS then felt horrible when i learned of kallie’s death. what am i doing? nothing

zacurious 8/3/2012 - 10:40 pm

@fakingit Thousands of miles away? Sorry to hear that. At least you still get to talk to her. Yea life is a bunch of BS. I know it is. I feel bad to hear the news too. Unfortunately that was her decision, I wish she didn’t make that choice and she saw her true potential. But I really hope she’s in a better place. Ok, I know she is. Anything I can do to help you to get your mind off things?

fakingit 8/3/2012 - 10:45 pm

@zacurious: yeah, umm idk the main reason im upset is my bf is once again ignoring me im just tryna put things together to get me to think he is cheating. i love him so much and i cant stop crying but im too stupid 2 leave him

zacurious 8/3/2012 - 10:58 pm

@fakingit – you’re not stupid. You love him. it’s very hard to have a long distance relationship and have trust too. If you honestly think he’s not treating you well or that he is cheating, do yourself a favor and let him go. I know it’s not easy. Not easy at all. Love on the other hand is stupid, you can’t help it. Just don’t sell yourself short. Don’t let him keep you down…especially if he’s not even worried about you and how you feel. I’ve been there, I know how you feel. I hope you see that you’re better than that.

darkwillow 8/3/2012 - 11:39 pm

My friend killed herself last night. I couldn’t handle it if it happened to you. I hardly knew kalley and yet I still feel like shooting myself over her loss. But you’re my best friend, what am I suppose to do if you’re gone?? :'(

fakingit 8/4/2012 - 12:55 am

@darkwillow: DONT KILL YOURSELF! idk thats why im trying to stay alive. im trying to hang in there but its hard! im tired of it.

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