i cant get out

my best friend wont let me out. i want away and im done with this world. ha every other post i write is either how amazing or awful my bf is..tonight its both….i love him SO MUCH, yet all ive done is cry since he came back. idk anymore, he was a reason to save me now he is reason to send me away. i wont win, he wont. i want to win i want to DIE die die die die. never do i have o anything under harsh orders again..im done but wait im stuck here..best friend wont let me die, he makes so incredibly hard to actually do it. it would be harder to leave him here then my bf cuz my bf can fuck whoever and doesnt care my best friend is alway there…he makes more effort then u do…your my bf? thats sad.