why do i still wanna go?

OMG! a week! finally im feeling a lot better…..but i still think of dying all the time..idk whats happening. im different..today was better then a lot of days but i still wanna die. i just want away from everything…im confused and just wanna give up. i feel worthless, and horrible…but im sure my best friend would disagree. idk get what he sees in me….i really dont cuz im not that amazing. i wanna leave i wanna die i know people would love me dead i know people love me alive but if im dead im sure they will love me more…speaking of love where did my bf go? idk…he left again…so im alone. i want out i wanna be free…but somehow i just cant seem to leave…then again if today was a good day…why do i still believe as the way out??