Anyone else seen that ‘if you went through with it’ story on tumblr? I’ve seen it several times, and I think some people may have posted it here once or twice. In third person, it goes through the stages of ‘your suicide’, about how you’re pushed over the edge by just one tiny thing and decide to do it, about what you say before you die, and about how your family, then your friends and school react to your suicide.
It’s clear from reading it that the person who originally wrote it knew the feeling, knew how easy it is to hide it from everyone, how we can be fine but then one tiny thing makes us go into that dark place and makes the thought of ending it more and more appealing and how it gets worse at night in the process of over analysing until the only solution you can come up with is to go through with it and start to make plans.
BUT
The original poster should have left it at that. Because although we might share some things as suicidal individuals, there are many variables and no situation is identical. So when they went on to write about how ‘your family’ react to your death, it gets bad. Because that person doesn’t actually know anything at all about your family. That person knows nothing at all about how your school would react, how your friends would feel about it all, or even whether you go to school or have friends or family at all. The whole idea of making their story a deterrent goes down the toilet when you consider that; because if a person doesn’t care about or even have those left behind and how they might feel, how would this story stop them? And that appears to have been the purpose, to deter people from going through with it. And by all means, I guess that story thing worked if you judge it by how widespread it became. And it’s good that such a thing exists, because it’s tragic how many incredible and inspiring people filled with potential we’re losing.
But I just wish with all my heart that it wasn’t written in the 3rd person, because no one likes assumptions being made. If it were, say, the story of someone’s friend who was lost to suicide, I would have no problem whatsoever and would encourage it. But not this weird hypothetical thing, because it just feels wrong and filled with lies. Truth is, a lot of us aren’t valued by our peers and might never be, but I think the point is that little ‘might’; there is no blanket ‘never’ and surely that should be focused on, why can’t more people just be saying:
“Yeah, things are broken and dark at the moment, and whilst there’s a chance they could shatter and the darkness could spread, there’s also the possibility that things could be new or mended and painted, then continue to get better and brighter and lighter and you might be left with a life that you love to live and more than you could ever have dreamed of and imagined in the days of the dark and broken.”
In my opinion, that’s more of a reason to carry on  than this story that near enough guilts the reader into reblogging and feeling guilty for a suicide they have yet to commit. The last thing that should be forcibly placed on a suicidal person’s shoulder is guilt because that’s just yet another negative emotion that may well ultimately make them feel worse, feeding whatever it is that’s making them feel the way they do, maybe making the tragic outcome even more likely.
The story was well intentioned, but I do not think it should be any more widely spread than it is. As an alternative, I think we should all just bear in mind the fact that things might be beyond painful today, but at some point they might be incredible and giving up on life now could mean missing out on all the amazingness that could be right around the corner.
4 comments
I agree with you, NotReally. I think I remember reading that on here once before, but I don’t remember it exactly. I do remember thinking that it’s not universal. That the story was meant to deter a specific audience. Which it’s good if it got to the intended people and changed their minds. However, to the people it doesn’t reach; to the people that don’t fall into the intended audience, it comes off as a kind of joke to them. I think, like with most things, you have to take the good and leave the rest. Take out of it what applies to you. Like you said, you know the writer’s intentions were good, and you even came up with a better way to word it – leaving out the business about who would miss you, whom it would impact, etc. Maybe you should write up your own little blog and hope it gets re-blogged and helps somebody, eh?
i hate tumblr, i just hate it……. just saying…..
I read this post and don’t really get it. If a person is suicideal and comes to SP to vent thats good, if a person comes to SP to write about that they are serious about ending their life good they are in the right place.
Anyone with half a brain knows if we kill ourselves theyre will be collateral damage, all associated with the death of someone here will have to feel someemotion at some levels. Childrens and parents will feell them the strongest.
Suicide is a personal choice, its right for the right resaons and wrong for the wrong reseasons.
@caucajun i agree with what you said